MJ's Thoughts

GOOD BYE 2011

2011-12-31T20:50:00.000Z

This year has flown by, literally and I know I say that a lot, but it seems to have gone in a blink.

This year has been full of ups and downs, January brought the birth of Joel to my bff/sister Helen, a long awaited baby and I was one of her birthing partners and there for the birth, OMG what an experience, and Joel of course will be 1 year old next month, sometimes miracles happen.

Managed to get home to the North a few times this year, more than last year. Kai was asked to Dance at the interval at the Reading Rockets Basket Ball Team, very proud of him.

In May I went away to Scrapmania with a great group of women, I am so lucky to know so many lovely people and to share a hobby with them.

In May another Dance programme for Kai.

My boy became a teenager in June, I cannot believe he is 13 already.

August brought the wedding of Brett, a dear friend and part of our family, this photo is a re-enactment of one taken at mine and Tye's wedding.

We discovered the British Wildlife Centre and have now been back five times and look forward to more visits next year. We finally got to see a fox IRL and up close and personal.

Tye got to fly a plane, one off the bucket list and one I didn't fancy doing lol

Tye went on a football tour as 'photographer' and got to spend 4th July in Boston USA

We had a lovely holiday to Majorca, never been before.

Finally persuaded Tye into a fish pedicure, he wasn't too amused.

Kai was asked to be Joel's God Father, it was an offer he couldn't refuse lol

September meant that Kai went up to Year 9, OMG how old are we.

In September we lost my girl, my beautiful Callaway

We went a bit mad with the pumpkins this year

Decided to make Christmas cards and started about October time lol

Kai had his hair streaked as his winter roots were coming through darker, he wasn't too impressed at having to sit for 2 hours, not sure if this process will be repeated lol

I had been slowly trying to go back to my natural hair colour, not 100% sure what it is but this is a lot darker than the blonde I have been for the last 8 years lol

Entered the British Wildlife Centre Photo comp not sure if I will come anywhere as the competition was very stiff but we shall see.

Tye graduated and passed his Diploma in Teaching, very proud day when he went to collect his diploma, he also passed his GCSE in Maths and sat his GSCE in English this year, he sits his GSCE in IT, double science, and Geography in June 2012, Proud doesn't cover it.

Kai set himself a New Years resolution this year of being able to do a back sumersault by the end of the Year and he did it, very proud of him, but very scared of all the free running he is doing.

As I said a very up and down year, have put back on the 3 stonnes that I last last year so I am determined to lose it again this year and to keep it off, New Years resolutions are of course no Chocolate for the whole year, to be more assertive and learn how to say NO, to lose the weight and keep it off and to manage my time better so I can fit in the house/chores, family and me.

Humbled

2011-12-01T11:45:00.001Z

Yesterday as part of my job I went to a military training ground to see how the lads trained before going to Afghanistan, it is set out to mimic what they will expect when they get there, so shared minimal space accommodation, having to heat their own water manually so they can wash etc. I also sat in on the briefing that they were given, this included telling them to remember to phone home when they could etc, but also went into the sobering side of making wills and having insurance in place in case they came back with limbs missing or died. Quite of few of these soldier are just out of training and going into a combat zone for the first time, they just looked so young, I had seen quite a few of them previously when I have given presentations and it was an awful thought looking at the room full of eager faces that maybe not all of them would be coming back. A very humbling day for me, knowing that whilst I will be enjoying my Christmas with my family, these men/boys will be out in a combat zone.

OMG November is now Ending.....

2011-11-25T12:33:00.001Z

OK so I have not done so well with the blogging lol, and November is now ending.

November does and doesn't seem to have flown by, anniversary of the death of my four legged boy Casey, still miss him.

We had a lovely all day crop and made fabulous flowers out of acetate using candles, we were shown how to do this by the lovely Emma Trout at the Scrapstars retreat I went to, very clever and we managed not to burn down the community centre.... always a bonus.

I got talked into doing a school photo shoot and a pre-school photo shoot at that!!! Am I mad I hear you ask, well yes most of the time.... The kids were very good, one of the siblings did throw up but I managed to handle this and I was very pleased with the outcome and apparently so were the parents if the orders were anything to go by.

I have been trying to go back to my original hair colour for some time and have been doing this in stages and not actually getting anywhere, but this time the fabulous Kellie decided we were going for it, so when I looked into the mirror afterwards I am now a brunette, it took a while to get used too but I love it and have been told by two separate people that it makes me look younger, so a good thing then lol

Kai has now been given his hospital date which is in February, he has to have four teeth taken out under General anaesthetic, which is worrying for us, he was a bit scared after the consult as the Doctor did lay things on the line for him, one of the teeth is growing horizontally through the gum and may take some getting out, she did tell him that he may not be able to walk properly for a bit after the general, which surprised me as both myself and Tye have had approx 25 operations between us and had no experience of this slightly groggy and tired for a few days but no not being able to move, other than when they severed my nerves but that was totally different. We had a few funny days with him but we are back to normal now, we shall see what happens nearer the time.

Remembrance Day this year was lovely we had Tye's father and Girlfriend down for the day to watch him in the parade and the parade had moved this year to a wider part of the town which was nicer, you could actually see more, I think they may need to sort out the tannoy system but for a first try it was very good. Off to the Royal British Legion for a quick drink and show of support and then back to my home cooked Sunday Lunch, after which we all rolled into the living room for a while.

Kai has had his hair streaked as his winter roots are coming through and he prefers his hair in the summer, so he is now blond again.

They were showing Ghostbusters at our local cinema this month and I had to take Kai as it is a classic, Tye decided not to come, but we enjoyed it although sometimes watching films now that you have watched in your childhood spoils them slightly as they are so dated, still a good film though.

I made a promise to Kai that he would be able to do a back somersault by New Year and it would of been easy if the Gym he was going to hadn't moved premises!!! We have now found another one but of course it is miles away, but we are back on track for the somersault, and of course signed up for free running whilst we were there, him not me of course lol

We have seen a few other films this month;

In Time: In a future where people stop ageing at 25, but are engineered to live only one more year, having the means to buy your way out of the situation is a shot at immortal youth. (This one was very good and I would recommend it, I thought it might be a take off of the film 'Logan's Run' it was similar but very good, would of liked a better ending but quite an easy film to watch)

Tower Heist; when a group of hard working guys find out they've fallen victim to a wealthy business man's Ponzi scheme, they conspire to rob his high-rise residence. (This one disappointed me I like Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller and whilst the film had moment that were funny it lacked something, but was still watchable, didn't feel as if I had lost part of my life for no reason at the end of it)

Breaking Dawn, OMG loved it and of course we had to go to the midnight showing, it was quite funny as the film did not play to begin with and we thought the crowd might turn ugly, but luckily they fixed it. I had to go again, so have now seen it twice and would see it again, really enjoyed it, thought it stuck to the book very well, things missed out but of course you expect that but very well done. Especially loved the way they portrayed Bella during the Pregnancy, and the wolf scenes whilst not in the book worked very well.

Am still TEAM JACOB, even after the 'bed' scene........

I did another family shoot this month with a lovely family I have been photographing them since both the children were bumps and really have great fun with them.

No scrap booking for a while, have finished off one of Nikki's classes will post another time.

I have made some cards my favourite digi stamps at the moment are Kenny K and Saturated Canary, have just found the Saturated Canary ones and love them.

This is a Kenny K Download Madison Attitude, coloured with pro markers, the lamp post is a new Marianne Design, the flowers are EK success retro flower, and the paper is called new leaf.

The sparkle bit in the flower are another Marianne design but a bit fiddly so I bought a Kars sparkle punch, much easier.

This one is another Kenny K called Strong Island and is a Birthday card for a special friend who is one of the strongest women I know.

The Queen of hearts is a Tim Holtz embossing folder, as is the rosette (a very useful die cut) the white is of course a doily and the green is yet another Tim Holtz die cut doily edge.

This is a Saturated Canary stamp one of a range of Alice in Wonderland ones called of course Queen of Hearts. The lamp post is again Marianne Design and the flowers EK retro, and the sparkles my new punch. This is for the Saturated Canary #5 challenge

and now it is ready to be sent as a birthday card lol

October is ending.......

2011-10-30T23:28:00.000Z

October as did September passed in a blur, have had a few problems at work this month over Facebook and people posting things that shouldn't be aired in public, and me biting over something I should know better, I swear I am going to take things with a pinch of salt in future and buy someone an extremely large wooden spoon.

We have been to the cinema quite a few times this month to use our 'Unlimited Cards', we have seen, The three Musketeers, which was very good, Abduction which was brilliant (go Team Jacob), The Adventures of Tin Tin, and the boys went to see Johnny English reborn as I cannot stand Rowan Atkinson. Looking forward to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn Part 1

So I have been a little bit crafty here are some birthday cards, I keep forgetting to take photos of them before I send them but the last three I have remembered.

Recently discovered some stamps called Saturated Canary, I cannot remember where I first saw them, I was blog hopping, (very time consuming pastime), and I saw a card with a gorgeous image on it actually this one and had to go see where it came from, the lady to designs them is called Krista Smith and her blog is here the shop where she sells the stamps is here some absolutely fabulous Digi stamps, this one is called Nevaeh, love it, and quite a few of these fell into my basket !!!!!!!!!!!

This one is called sprocket

Of course this one is a Kenny K one of my favourite Digi stamp stops, she is called Madison Attitude.

October brings Halloween and we just love to decorate a pumpkin or two, we did get a bit carried away this year and carved up five, which does seem a waste as I never do anything with the innards, mind you the amount of time it takes me to scrap the flippin stuff out I really don't fancy doing anything with them at the end. We carved a wolf, a fox, mumble from Happy Feet, I carved a skeleton and we did one that was eating the trick or treater, we both had great fun.

Will try for a better photo of this one tomorrow as this was taken with my iPhone whilst it was dark.

We decided to do something together as a family, now Kai is 13 it is difficult to find things that we all like doing as a family, so we borrowed a dog (Masey) and took her for a long walk, it was a beautiful day, but as usual the boys couldn't just walk and had to play fight and mess around!!!!

I tried to get some photos of the full moon at the beginning of the month, even with a tripod I wasn't too steady the batteries had gone in my remote so I had to press the button which didn't do too well I think the best ones I got were with the timer, but the moon kept going behind the clouds.

Half term this month and Kai went to a friends for a couple of days, for a Birthday day party at Thorpe Park, and rode the rides in the dark, not something I would fancy but he had a great time. I then took him to the British Wildlife Centre again, it is of course only open during the half terms and now won't be open again until until 27th December, might take a trip down then, hoping to go down to take photos of the animals in the snow.

The squirrel walk is one of our favourite, benches all inside so you can sit quietly and watch the squirrels and the wild birds, they are very inquisitive.

The Polecats were one of my favourite, they just looked so cute and cuddly, but don't get me wrong I don't think I would be tempted to put my fingers anywhere near them.

The foxes of course are our main reason for going, they are just beautiful creatures.

They hold an owl display at the end of the day where they fly approx five owls in the dell, amazing to watch.

My Christmas cards are coming on very well, cutting them all out was extremely painstaking but they are finally on the card now and I just have to find a stamp and put the insides in and they are ready to go into the envelopes, maybe next year I will find one that doesn't need colouring in and of course these images are from here Mo Manning another fabulous site for Digi stamps.

Christmas Cards

2011-10-10T12:09:00.000Z

OMG get me two blog posts in two days.......

I started making Christmas cards about a month ago and they are coming on OK, very slowly, last years were reindeer and this years are little Elves, which are courtesy of Mo Manning, fabulous digi stamps.

These are the Elves, I saw them and of course thought they were too cute, the fact that I am going to have to colour in everyone of them didn't occur to me at the time, but as you can see the colouring in is getting there.

I have added stickles glitter glue to the pom pom, around the hat and the bottom on the tops, which does give them a lovely glittery effect.

Next I had to decide what to back them on, I usually make cards in 6x6, but I bought a pack of 5.25x5.25 when I went to The Range with Maria (seriously worth a visit if you have one near you especially the frames).

I then cut out a piece of red cardstock and embossed a piece of white using one of the Sizzix Christmas Embossing folders and the flower circle was cut using a Stampin Up punch.

With this one I have stitched rope that is attached to the bauble.

On this one I once again used the stickles, I think the stickles looks better, it also takes less time so this one will probably win. I think I need another Christmas stamp as the one I have doesn't quite fit, oh well some Internet shopping for me......

OK four nearly done only 36 more to do....................

Pulling myself together ......

2011-10-09T15:54:00.002Z

Pulling myself together, not that I want to but life goes on...

So what have I been up to hmmm lots as usual lol.........

This Saturday I spent the day with Lis, Rachael, Kat, Elizabeth, Linda and Karen at David Linakers' Photography Studio doing a photography course, it was a great day out and although I didn't really learn too much it was definitely worth it as it was a great laugh, with great company. The 3 mile walk had me retiring to bed the whole of the next day and the picnic by the lake in October!!! was a surprise but well worth it.

An impromptu photo shoot at a Coffee morning I organized for work, not keen on these things but this one was OK after spending 20 Min's on my own approx 13 wives turned up so a success I think lol

This was the Scrapstars retreat and I almost didn't go, I only booked it four days before, talk about last minute lol, myself, Angela, Maria and Elizabeth went up to Leeds on the Friday till Sunday to take eight classes and stay in a gorgeous hotel.

(These were a few of the projects I finished, yes I know two of them don't have photos but they will, the frames are box frames from The Range)

Apart from the scrapbook side a weekend away with friends is always good. I was particularly interested in this retreat because of the classes and of course the teachers.

Kirsty Wiseman I knew already, she is an amazing person, always full of life and smiling and soo talented, I thoroughly enjoyed both of her classes even though we upset her over the doilies.

Emma Trout another amazing lady who I have met on several occasions now and is not only talented but gorgeous, her classes are a true inspiration.

Lida De Witte who comes up with the most amazing projects I have ever seen, we would travel miles to take one of her classes as they are always out of this world and she is so friendly and patient.

Rachael Elliott was the only teacher that I had not taken any classes with previously but both Maria and I had been following her blog and layouts for a few years now back from when she first started posting on UKS, her layouts are gorgeous, just stunning and in meeting her IRL she is one of the most unassuming people I have ever met, very quiet but utterly lovely and just so talented.

It was a lovely retreat and very well organized, the classes were great, the hotel lovely, the food and drink plentiful Caroline made sure that everyone was OK and had everything they needed and a shop (Bellaboo) to top it all off, the perfect weekend.

OMG September came and Year 9, I cannot believe how fast the time is moving, my baby is a teenager and now in year 9, it is scary.

The British Wildlife Sanctuary, we travelled down during the Summer holidays and spent an amazing day here, lots of talks on the animals and of course the main reason for going was the foxes. Kai loves foxes and they had five adults and three cubs, we got to see them up close and spent about half an hour just sat watching them, there was a red squirrel walk and we sat in there and one of the squirrels ran over Kai's hand and up his leg, he loved this, the weather was fabulous and it was a great day out. It was lovely to spend the day with Kai he is growing up so fast, but is always great company and I cherish the times that we spend together.

The Wedding, Brett and Claire, at Middleton Lodge

Absolutely fabulous day, Middleton Lodge was like something out of Pride and Prejudice absolutely amazing, our room was fabulous and the weekend one that will stay with us for a long time. Tye was best man and I did the photography, the bride looked stunning and the bridesmaids gorgeous and the groom, best man and usher didn't look too bad either. Brett and Gaby have been members of our family since we all met and after everything that Brett has gone through it is lovely for him to find someone like Claire she really is amazing.

Another all day crop, 12 hours of scrap booking or photograph manipulation for me lol, but always a good day with great people, and this time with cupcakes....

We went to visit Kai's Grandmother, Tye's step mother, she is a very hmmm thinking of the words here..... and failing to come up with any, forceful comes to mind. I usually let things go over my head but this time I wasn't feeling well so we did have a few heated discussions, it was a beautiful day and we took the dog out for a walk and I took some lovely photos of the area, they have just moved into a house in a different village, I used to live in this area and of course our eldest son Declan is buried in the church cemetery in Sturminster so it is nice to go back.

We had some trees removed from the back of the house, it is lovely living somewhere surrounded by woods, but it means that you always have to have the kitchen light on, even though several trees were taken down, we still have to have the light on but it has opened up the garden quite a lot and it was fascinating to watch.

Tye has had a busy few weeks, lots of Golf for the Regiment and he got to fly a glider, one to cross off our 'bucket list' some of the things we have on there I would rather he did on his own, especially the ones where you have to take your feet off the ground, heights are not really my thing.

Whilst I was at my parents house I managed to catch up with Helen, best friend no sister more like and her life has changed so much in the last year, she now has a family, little Joel who is gorgeous, I am so pleased for her, she deserves some happiness and Joel has made her very happy. Some photos I took of us and a gorgeous one of Joel and Kai who is Joel's Godfather.

Holding on by a thread

2011-09-29T20:20:00.001Z

When something like this happens it makes me realize how close to the edge I live, insanity that is. Why should I have to explain why I feel so devastated over the death of my cat? Even Tye feels the need to explain to people that there is an emotional reason, possibly the fact that after having two children then losing one I couldn't have any more and that my animals are my substitute children or that I love my animals and they are part of the family and losing one is unbearable.

I don't care if people think I'm strange or overly emotional over `a cat` she was my cat, who was always waiting for me when I finished work, slept cuddled up to me on a night and noisily demanded food as soon as I awoke in the morning. It's too quiet now, my other cats don't understand and are staying out or crying for her if they come in.

I am not sure what to do with myself, and of course everyone expects me to be ok now, but I'm not and that thead is unwraveling at the moment. I know I'm strong, I wouldn't of lived through a lot of what I have and not still be sane {kindof}, and I am not looking for someone to prop me up or kind words, I will pull myself together I always do but for the moment I want to wallow, I miss my girl.

Monday 26th September RIP Calloway

2011-09-28T16:31:00.003Z

RIP Calloway

I have been worried about Callie (Calloway) for a while now, she has been drinking lots of water and I thought she might be diabetic, now that would of been hard as she was very cantankerous and to even put flea liquid on the back of her neck took two of us gloves and two large towels..... so injections OMG didn't like to wonder how I was going to do that, but she was my baby and I would do anything for her. She was a very vocal cat lol, she told you when she was hungry and when she wanted to be petted, she loved to be on your knee and she slept on me during the night, I usually wake up when I need to turn over (its a pain thing) and she would just stand up and settle back down on me again, although she was a small cat this was quite painful at times, but I didn't mind.

The vet checked her over and felt a lump, I felt my heart sink, he said he wanted to keep her and do an X-ray but he wasn't hopeful. I drove home in a daze, not know what to think, but trying to be optimistic. He phoned me an hour and a half later and told me that she had a lump one and a half times a golf ball in her abdomen, I knew when I left her that it wouldn't be good, I don't know how I just felt it. We discussed operating and I talked with Tye and we didn't care what the cost, she was his favourite, she would wait for him to finish work and meow to him as if telling him off for being late. We talked to the vet again or Tye did as by this time I was very emotional, the vet said that the lump looked to be tangled up in her intestines and she had a 20% chance at best and was in considerable pain with it. I felt awful I hadn't noticed she was in pain, she was just her normal loving demanding self.

We made the decision for her, it wasn't fair, she is now in the garden and I miss her, the house is quiet, I can't sleep as she isn't there to cuddle or for me to moan to when I want to turn over and she won't move.

Life moves on but tears out another piece of my heart as it does.

Time Speeds Along

2011-09-09T10:47:00.000Z

OMG where does the time go.......... This will probably be in a few parts

I now have to try to remember what I did since I last blogged lol

Well these first photos were a fabulous weekend spent with the girls, I love these weekend, not just for the scrapping and classes, but its great to spend time with friends and relax.

The Retreat was ScrapaMia, and it was one of the best weekends I have done, the organization was great and I loved most of the classes.

This was Michelle Jackson-Mogford's class, I actually made the bird cage, well it is still under construction, but nearly there, I really enjoyed this and Michelle was lovely.

The hotel was really nice, a little bit of a walk to the main building from the room, but the room was lovely and right next to the swimming pool. I did manage a swim on the Sunday morning, but I was in it all on my own for about half an hour and had a bit of a 'primevil' moment!!! but then Lis joined me.

This class was taken by Celine Navarro, strange woman, I did like the album, wasn't so keen on the papers so both Kellie and I bought different papers, it was handy that the shop was in the same room as this class. The teacher sat at her desk texting on her phone the whole time, and had some very strange French music going, this was my least favourite class.

Emma Trout, gorgeous woman bless her, love her to bits and her layouts are stunning, she is so talented. I loved this class, we did two layouts and I had to go and buy lots of the papers to make more.

This was Dina Wakley's class, have taken a few of her classes and she is great, not so into the very messy anymore, but did love the concept of the class.

The Wolf Sanctuary has an open Day on Bank holidays and this was the July one, took Tye's friends wife and her daughter with us to see the wolves, unfortunately the cubs were not out yet, but as always love visiting this place.

Kai is taking both Street Dance and Break Dance lessons, this was a Dance competition, and as Kai is the only breaker in the Street Dance class he usually gets to put in a few moves.

I have been really busy with photo shoots and a few more weddings, this was a lovely family shoot.

Kai turned 13, OMG where have the years gone, I cannot believe that he is now officially a teenager, he had a sleepover on the Saturday Night, and then we spent the day Paint Balling and I mean the day 8 hours of paint balling and then McDonald's, the weather was boiling which was good, but they boys got soo hot. They had a great time though, even Tye joined in a few of the games.

We didn't go on holiday last year and Tye had a trip to Boston, which he said was work!!!! hmm a week's football tour, he doesn't play anymore so he went as the team photographer, I had to fix quite a few of the photos on his return. Anyway I booked a last minute holiday for us to Majorca, and when I say last minute I mean last minute booked it one afternoon and we left the next day!!!!

Fabulous holiday, all inclusive, entertainment was great especially for Kai the food was good, the resort clean and the weather great.

Finally persuaded Tye to come and have a fishy foot pedicure!!! It was really weird, it doesn't tickle vibrates a bit but my feet were really smooth afterwards, will definitely do it again, think Tye may need a years worth to make his feet smooth.

This is Norman my mother's latest Guide Dog puppy, Stokes has now gone into his second phase of training and little Norman is beginning his first.

Whilst I was at my parents we had to raid my father's allotment of potatoes, onions and rhubarb!!!!!

We visited the show at Highclere Castle, three day eventing, show jumping, dressage and various other activities, we did have tickets to the champagne evening entertainment, but the weather was awful and we got so wet we just came home. The boys did some Archery, Tye was left with a nice bruise from this and I got some lovely photos of the horses.

The bank holidays

2011-05-01T22:19:00.000Z

A very busy few weeks, I took time off to visit family and rest, managed to visit family still trying for the rest...

Stayed for a week with my mother, and got to spend time with Helen and Joel and see Sue and Leroy, mixing in lots of Paccitos ice-cream and of course parmasan nom nom

Got a chance to go and see my father's allotment, now that he's been retired a year he has really got to grips with it and we went and picked rhubarb and then made crumble to go with it, love home made rhubarb crumble.

One of the lads at the allotment keeps pigeons and races them, he is not sure how many he has but there did seem to be lots of the little buggers 'flying rats' as far as I'm concerned, but Connor liked them and even held some of the babies, a few that were 3 days old, they didn't even look cute to me.

Joel is now three months old and changing a great deal, I cannot believe how big he is, Helen is a great mum bless her and seems to be taking it all in her stride, too many people putting their two pennith in though, she needs to trust her own instincts more.

Both Connor and Joel aren't christened and Helen is Connor's Godmother, she has asked Connor to be Joel's Godfather, he is very moved by this and taking it very seriously.

We went to the Owl Sanctuary again, love that place the birds are amazing and they have a few Mere Cats too.

Did a few photos of William and Stokes

A trip home isn't complete without a walk on the beach, brrrr

When we got back we met up with Brett who was our Best man and him and his daughter Gaby are extended members of our family, no matter how long we go without seeing each other we seem to be able to fall straight back into things. Brett is getting married in August, his future wife is called Claire and we met her about a year ago and she is lovely, we spent a great day in Thorpe Park, the kids and the boys went on most rides, Claire got dragged on one other than that we sat in the sun whilst they queued. They then came back and stayed the night.

Next morning we had to pack the car up to head into London, well Essex to go to Gregg's Birthday Lunch, which was held in a restaurant called The Dockyard, which was an award winning nouveau cuisine! always looks pretty but a tiny amount of food on a large plate does not do it for me. It was nice to see everyone though and although we did get stuck in traffic, it being Bank Holiday Friday and all, it was nice. We went back to Gregg's afterwards and we must of realized that we would still be hungry as we had curry in the car, and of course we all had curry and rice, I mean who doesn't drive somewhere for the night with a Tupperware box of curry in the car? We stayed the night at Sue's, lovely house.

Back on the road the next day as I had the Camp Easter Egg hunt to organize, 53 kids OMG why do I do this. Laminated maps and clues as it was too hot to hid the eggs this year, approx 2,500 mini eggs and then big eggs donated by the REA. The Egg hunt went really well, most of the kids turned up and although one team was totally useless at reading the map and finding the clues, they all seemed go enjoy themselves and at least this year I didn't lose a group of kids..

So at least a week and a half has gone and I still haven't relaxed or done any scrapping...... School went back for three days!! why on earth send them back for three days!!!

I did a lovely photo shoot with Kellie's gorgeous kids, we did an outside shoot with the swans, wasn't as warm as it has been but the kids were great as usual.

Connor wasn't happy to go back to school, but it wasn't a major issue, and although when I picked him up he had had a bad day he was still OK on the next day.

We hadn't been to the cinema for a while so we decided to go and see two films the first was Thor, we saw this in 3D and to be honest I wouldn't bother seeing it in 3D I really didn't notice any jump from the screen 3D effects, but the film was good, the eye candy Chris Hemsworth was definitely worth the look, and the effects and story were good not sure I liked the ending but without spoiling it hopefully there will be another.

This is what he looked like in the film

and this is from a photo shoot, now would love to have him in front of my camera

The second film was Arthur, with Russell Brand and the part was made for him, he was brilliant in it thoroughly enjoyed this one and laughed out loud several times.

We all decided to go to Stonehenge, kept Connor off school and did a historical trip, I hadn't been to Stonehenge since I was a child and back then you were allowed to climb on the stones, apparently we had a picnic on them. Of course now they are roped off and you are not allowed anywhere near them. We were still awed at the size and the history, we were given audio machines which told you about the history and the myths that surround the stones, there was a lot of things that we did not know, it was really interesting.

There was a street party organized for the Friday, I am not a royal fan so was not planning to watch the wedding but it was nice that the streets were having a get together. I was given a side dish to make for this, and people who know me know I don't cook, the dish I was given was '3 bean salad' my next door neighbour got garlic bread!!!!!! I asked around and apparently it was available in a can, well the beans were anyway, after nearly puking when I opened the tins I heated them up, this didn't quite go as planned as for the past three days my face has been swollen and my eyes nearly closed due to hay fever, wow is me!!!! anyway couldn't find glass, no way I am getting my eyes open wide enough to put contacts in so I couldn't read the instructions, and drained the contents, only to then be told by Tye that I had to cook them in the contents for 5 Min's, see I knew cooking was involved!!!! We then looked it up on the Internet as we thought it can't be that easy and no it wasn't, we had to put in celery, onions and chives, I did warn everyone that I came in contact with to stay away from it so hopefully the food poisoning was kept to a minimum. It was a good party, and I did managed to avoid all neighbours that I didn't want to talk too lol Not sure what time Tye came back but he was slightly ill for the whole of the next day lol

We have been tidying the house and planning to do a car boot sale with all the stuff that we are always hording, have never done a car boot sale so should be interest.

The next couple of months are extremely busy, with functions, photo shoots, scrapping getaways, Army/Navy games etc.

Not sure whether I have put this pic up already, but am going back to my original colour, actually not sure what it is but I know its not blonde.

Donnington Castle, Mothers Day and the rest lol

2011-04-05T21:49:00.001Z

Lynne came to visit for the weekend and we were trying to think of places to visit, Connor and I have been doing some photo training, me training him lol, he has a very good eye, and catches on quickly and Donning ton Castle was one of the places on our list, so Saturday morning we took a drive up to the Castle, as castles go it was a bit disappointing, not much of it left, but it was a beautiful day and perfect for taking photos. They boys had great fun chasing each other and climbing a tree and Connor rolled down a hill, but unfortunately managed to roll into a load of stingy nettles, so we had to find some dock leaves, he was really brave as I remember that nettle stings are really painful.

Tye did a good deed that day, an American father and his two daughters were coming down the hill when the youngest one lost control of her bike and nearly ended up in the barbed wire fence, Tye caught her and stopped her and the father was very grateful and kept telling the other daughter to thank Tye for saving her sister and he shook Tye's hand bless him.

The weather was perfect for photos and I was really pleased to get some great shots and yes even a few with me in them which is really rare.

My boy, I know I am bias but he is gorgeous, luckily he doesn't read this or he would be really embarrassed lol

Fabulous all Day Crop on Saturday 2nd April, and Rachael Kenny taught us how to make Sock Creatures, really enjoyed doing it, I found it a bit difficult as I don't have any feeling in my thumbs and and first fingers but I wasn't quite the last to finish. We were all really impressed with our little Sock Creatures. Mine is the Black and Yellow one, Connor loves it and has called it Chester. There was hysterical laughter at a few points when the tone was lowered lol. I love my all day crops even though they are hard work, the group of girls that come to them make everything worthwhile.

Ok some scrapping, this is a layout of old photos of Connor, I am trying to scrap, I tend to just pick photos out of my box as I get bored easily loved scrapping these and enjoyed the stitching.

Some more cards that I have been making

A friend of mine's husband is in Afghanistan at the moment, so I arranged with her boys for an impromptu photo shoot and they paid for some frames to give the photos to her on Mother Day

A New Week

2011-03-14T12:12:00.000Z

Where is this year going? There are a few things to look forward too I am going to go back up North to visit my mother and of course see Helen and Joel in April and hopefully pick somewhere nice to go on holiday this year, I need some sun. I am definitely going to be going on the sun bed at my mothers as my white legs are scaring me at the moment.

I have been doing some scrapping, well quite a bit and making more cards. I am doing 'A Book of Me' with Kellie at the moment, but we are running behind, I am hoping to have caught up by the next all day crop.

Anyway here is a selection of what I've been up to.....

Have made a few cards but can't find the photos of them yet.

I did another pet sitting, very cute dog and very well behaved.

10th March

2011-03-10T11:40:00.000Z

Today my eldest son Declan would of been 14. I write the same things every year, but it doesn't get any easier, and today I am struggling more than ever. It was Tye's turn to order the flowers and write the card this year and he 'phoned me from work to let me know what he had written, he couldn't read it without breaking down. It hurts me to see him hurting too. I know people say we were lucky to have him for as long as we did, but I am still bitter and always will be, it wasn't enough and I do want to shout and scream that. Your children shouldn't die before you, they just shouldn't. There isn't any solace and nothing that will take the pain away, and there are days like today when it is unbearable, when you look around and see happy faces and begrudge them. I don't really, you don't know what peoples lives are like behind closed doors, there are so many tragedies that happen in this world, but for the moment I am going to wallow in my own self pity.

Happy 14th Birthday Declan, you are as always in my heart.

2011

2011-02-27T17:53:00.002Z

This year has flown by already, my weight was doing very well and I even managed to keep it in check over Christmas and was 1.9kg from my goal, unfortunately I am now a good way off from that goal, but plan to get back there.

Just before Christmas the Camp does what's called a 'Turkey Trott', where the CO dresses in a turkey costume and everyone else in fancy dress and they run to the local Primary School and the kids judge the best fancy dress, then the Turkey and his guards get a head start and the rest have to catch him up and pluck out a feather, all in good fun and great to watch. Tye dressed up as Elvis as we couldn't find his Captain America costume lol.

For the few weeks before Christmas and of course just after I had been on standby as I was my friend Helen's birthing partner with another lady called Julie, who is absolutely lovely and that bond will keep us in touch and friends, Helen means the world to me and is sister to me in all but blood. I was so pleased to be able to be there for her after everything she had put herself through to get this far, and I was going to make it one way or anther. I got the call first thing in the morning on Monday 17th January, I set off straight away after dropping Connor off at the bus. I didn't do badly on time and got to the hospital at 1.30pm, she had already been messed around and they had tried to send her home, but she had been re-admitted once I got there. She was already in a great deal of pain, I had two C-Sections and I always remember people telling me that I had missed out on an experience of having a Natural Birth, I didn't think so and that was totally reiterated to me during the next 12 hours, I really do not know why women choose to put themselves through that when there are alternatives and the end result is the same.....

The baby was back to back which was causing Helen excruciating pain, and it was awful for both Julie and I to watch and feel useless, Julie was great at massaging Helen's back as it seems to help the pain, but the longer it went on the less strength Helen had, she had been in labour since 4.30am and at 4.30pm we persuaded her to have an epidural, things went on with more and more pain as the epidural hadn't worked properly and they had to keep topping it up. I think (and it is a personal observation) that people should be in the midwifery job and maybe that is only some, for long periods, one of the midwives was very matter of fact and yes I realize that this has to be done, but each case or person is an individual with feels and real live fears, and her attitude stunk, there is no other was to describe it, she came across 'been there done that everyday for the last god knows how many years, just get on with it', not that Helen was an older mum, it was her first baby, and a little bit of sympathy and feeling would not of gone amiss.

By 2am on Tuesday 18th January, they decided to move her into the operating theatre, a surgeon and doctor were called and we think they were very close to performing a C-Section, but they tried Ventouse and Forceps, I went in with her and tried to give what little support I could, the Baby was born at 2.26am weighing 6.8lbs. She didn't have a name for him at the time, she liked Callun but was very worried that everyone would keep getting it wrong and call him Callum, he has now been given the name Joel Joseph.

It was an experience that I will never forget, seeing a life being brought into the world, but I didn't like watching my friend being in so much pain and having to worry for so long.

Not long after Joel was born, she already looks like the doting mum

I know she will kill me for this photo, but we tried to get a quick bump photo but the pain was too much for her

You can see just how small he is in comparison, this was after his first bath

Trying to capture some artistic photo's but he didn't stop crying for very long

This is the other Guy in Helen's life Flynn

Whilst I was at home I took some more photos of mum's dogs, Stokes the tiny puppy is now nearly on his was to his next trainer, I couldn't get over the size of him now.

Especially seeing him next to William

Some more Layouts that I have been doing

Connor and I have had a few outings with the cameras recently he is getting very good, he has a good eye, but still shakes quite a bit whilst holding the camera.

We went to Woburn Safari Park as one of our outings, had a fabulous day, until a Giraffe (yes you read right) a giraffe bit off my Ariel....... and I was worried about the monkeys!!!!!

My photos

Connor's Photos

My January Crop was nearly cancelled as the Community Centre we hold it in had a gas leak and was closed for a few weeks, I was really lucky to be able to hold it on camp, but that was when the difficulty came in lol. The security was a bit of a nightmare, getting everyone's full names and car registration, then getting them to sign in and get photo id before entering the camp, I think they all found it a bit of an adventure, and two of them tried to by pass the security lol,

This weekend I drove to Bubbly Funk to take a class by Craft Stamp Editor - Katy Fox, who is a team member and friend, the class was a Maze Book which I have made several times, but the whole idea was to see Katy, I had kept it a surprise and was so glad that she was pleased to see me, I also got to meet another Team Member Helen who is really lovely, I do think we have the best team ever.

The class was good, well taught, Katy has a lot of patience and instructions were very clear, the techniques were very good, inking, stamping, etc, it was thoroughly enjoyable, I did think that the price was a bit high for the materials that were supplied by Bubbly Funk but that was just my opinion.

Am very hooked on Nora Roberts books and seem to be getting through them at an alarming rate, have recently discovered that she also writes under the pseudonym JD Robb and read my first one of those, very futuristic murder/mystery/romance and really enjoyed it, oops more books to read. Am not sure about the kindle I don't like the idea that it does not have a back light, I have the Kindle App on my iPhone and Tye has it on his Galaxy Tab so have been borrowing the Tab to read and love it as it is lit up.

Catch up with the End of 2010

2011-01-12T11:59:00.000Z

Well last year flew by so I need to finish off the last two months and get my act into gear for 2011.

Being stationed back where we live November is Remembrance Day so Tye proudly marched in the parade, Connor decided he was going to be photographer, so the photos are a little dubious lol, but it was very difficult to see the whole parade, it is lovely that so many people turn out for this, but I was still very disappointed to see that some people were not wearing poppies.

Connor or Kai as he is now know in his Break Dance and Street Dance classes, was given a Spy Camp experience by one of his Grandmothers for his birthday and we finally managed to book this in and he had a fabulous day, learning to fire sniper rifles and defusing bombs, just the thing boys enjoy lol

Christmas arrived very quickly I thought I was prepared but no I wasn't, most of the family decided to do lists this year which is great, you know what to get everyone and everyone gets something that they wanted rather than something which you think is pretty or they may like, I am all for lists, they did backfire on me slightly but I was expecting that with certain people.

I bought a Gingerbread house for Kai and I to make, seemed like a good idea, hmm for someone who has not baked a cake this was not a good idea, the icing sugar did not want to go in the bag and then it did not want to come out through the nozzle, but out the top and several holes that somehow appeared in the bag.... It was very hard going, but also fun and we did kind of put the house together in the end.

Last year Christmas was hectic to say the least, don't get me wrong it was enjoyable but we had two days out of the whole of the holidays that we spent on our own and when we finally went back to work, we didn't feel as if we had had a break. This year we decided that we were going to have a quiet Christmas, Kai doesn't believe but bless him he pretended for me, we had a lovely Christmas morning. Tye's present was difficult, we had set a limit but I kinda blew that, he needs a gadget to play with, he is really bah humbug, so if he doesn't get something to occupy him he is bored and then of course becomes annoying lol. I decided to get him a Galaxy Pad, I did think about getting him the iPad, but the Galaxy had a lot more going for it, the fact that it will play the Flash Player and the memory is expandable, I was really pleased that I managed to surprise him too, he had no idea and I got him to open up the screen protector first.

Even the cat decided to open Christmas presents, we had a lovely day and of course played family wii too. I got lots of chocolate goodies in my stocking, and was very good and waited until January 1st to eat them.

One of Kai's best presents which he talked about for days afterwards was being taken to see Flawless by Shaun and Natalie, he had an amazing time, I am so envious would of loved to see them. He had great fun with Shaun and Natalie, and went and met the members of Flawless and got their autographs.

I was extremely busy before Christmas with photo shoots, why do people leave it to the last minute to decide that photos would make a good Christmas present lol Here are a few shots from different shoots.

October comes to an end.....

2010-11-01T13:49:00.002Z

October was quite a busy month, one of the things that will stick out in my mind is that I decided to close the internet shop ‘Every Moment Matters’, I have been toying with the idea for a while as I usually take on too much which then makes me ill. I am very sad with the decision which is probably why it took longer for me to make than it should of, but it is done now, there is still lots of stock left though so if you want a bargain pop along and have a look. http://www.everymomentmatters.co.uk/.

I will still continue to run the crops though, the evening ones once a week and the Saturday ones once a month. We had a celebrity teacher this month; Kirsty Wiseman came to teach a class she had designed beautiful class with the embellishments designed by her too. She is the most down to earth lovely person I have met, she wasn’t phased by a room full of scrappers anxious to see the class, and went round and chatted to everyone, stayed for lunch and even sat and scrapped some of her own stuff, which was amazing. It took her 2.5 hours to get to the crop and she didn’t leave till the very end and wasn’t home until 1.30am. Thank you very much Kirsty, everyone enjoyed your fabulous class and you are welcome back anytime hun.

Connor had a photo shoot, it was for a client who has designed glasses for Boots, they seemed very pleased with him and were talking about front cover, so we shall wait and see. I managed to take a few shots in the studio after the shoot and outside too.

Tye and I had an evening out and went to see Frankie Boyle, I loved him when he was on Mock the Week. It was definitely no holds barred…… the line was so far behind him that if he looked over his should it would be a speck in the distance…. But it was still very funny.

Lots of friend’s birthdays this months, Lynne, Jen, Debby, Maria, Karen, Sam and Sue and one of Connor’s best friends and of course a baby girl, so that meant lots of card making.

Half term month as well and because I only took a week off in the summer, I have lots of leave left so I decided to take the half term, I don’t seem to have achieved much but Connor and I have had fun.

A lovely friend of mine Elizabeth bought me a Taramundi pot for my birthday, I think it was a year ago now and I have been saving £2 coins in it since then. It was almost full so I broke it open, well I didn’t have the heart to break it open, yes I know you are meant to make a wish and smash it, but its purple and sooo beautiful, so I painstakingly drilled holes in the bottom until I could get the coins out. I was very surprised and there was £650 in it. I have put some more to it (shhhhh) and bought myself the new Canon 60D, complete with battery grip and when it finally arrived (I bought from a company called DigitalRev as they were the cheapest, will no not to do that again, the customer service was dreadful, there were a few stock issues and they didn’t bother to let me know it took over a week to arrive in the end, so I would not recommend the company). It is here now and of course it is amazing, can’t wait to use it properly.

I did a Halloween photo Shoot with Jack and Isla and got some gorgeous shots.

I am working on a Birthday Album of Connor at the moment, but cannot find year’s three and four, unfortunately the computer crashed a few years back and I lost hundreds of photos I am hoping that they weren’t on there or I have copies somewhere. Whenever I do a photo box order I always buy the disk, so that I have a copy if my computer goes or if the storage I use on their site goes, you can never back your photos up too many times.

Tye and I went to a Zombie night at the mess and I painted both his and my faces, mine was more difficult as I couldn’t quite get the right angle looking in the mirror but had lots of fun with the face skin on Tye's although he did get worried when I tried to use a carving knife on his neck lol

We had a day at the races too, which was fun for a bit but then got very boring, I am not one for gambling, and it was flat racing so after four races we decided to call it a day and go home.

Of course this month ended with Halloween or All Hallows Eve and even better the clocks went back an hour, so that should of meant an extra hour in bed, all it meant was that I woke up early!!!

Anyway pumpkin photos, we went simple this year, apparently next year the pumpkins brains will be showing and he will be throwing up, at least it gives me a year to think of the concept, I'm thinking red food dye and cauliflower for the brains.....................

The gore

Once the boys had scooped the yucky bits
out I found a melon ball er was the best
thing to get the rest of it out

Not too much mess.............

The boys proud of the outcome

The final outcome

Almost forgot, took out a 200 mm lens borrowed from Jen and had a play, caught a gorgeous squirrel and some deer, although both were quite far away even for this big a lens lol I hate the cold and wet but love the different colours of the trees in autumn.

Connor practising somersaults will be doing them on the ground soon.... A&E here we come...l

As usual a busy time.

2010-09-24T19:42:00.000Z

Dieting again, why is it that most if not all women go on a diet at some point in their life? As I have said previously I know what my problem is, I LOVE food, especially chocolate and cakes so it is totally my own fault. I had lost 3stone and I was very happy but of course to me that meant I could then shovel as much cake as I could down myself...... hmm the effect was that I put on 1.5 stones and 6"!!! round my hips or on my bum to be more precise.... So as usual I am again on a diet... I have lost 10lbs and 2" and am being ruthless, just need to be more stern with myself once I have lost it all again, I know, I know, vicious circle and probably always will be.

The other thing that is annoying me at the moment is that whenever I loose weight I gain more wrinkles.... not keen on this, have recently been noticing a lot more and feeling my age, might have something to do with the weather getting cold again though, must stay away from comfort food...

Tye's tattoo is now finished and although I am not a big fan of tattoos and will probably tease him when he's older and it sags, at the moment I will give him that it does look good.

Of course September has come and gone and Connor is now in Yr 8, can't be live how the time is flying, we were as usual very rushed on the first day so didn't manage photos until about day four...

We have actually been up to quite a bit, Tye had five weeks off over the summer, which was interesting, lol

We had a day out at Paultins Park for Armed forces day and took Connor's friends Peter and Steven with us, it started off a bit wet, then brightened up, and of course I had to get stung by a flippin wasp owww

My poor hand after the wasp got it apparently am very allergic!!!!!!!!!!

We were very lucky to get tickets for the Help for Heroes Concert, we had tickets for Robbie 9 years ago, but Tye had to go into hospital for an operation and we had to sell them and of course he never toured again, so the highlight was seeing Robbie live for us. We had a fabulous day, we drove to Reading left the car there and got the train to Twickenham, Tye being an aficionado on Twickenham because of the Army Navy Games knew where the best food was and we ended up eating the most amazing Onion Bhajies and drinking beer on the way to the Stadium (not like me lol). We were taken up in the service elevator to avoid the crush by a very helpful attendant. The crowds were quite scary, but I got through the whole night without being pushed or jostled, Tye had a lot to do with that one lol. The concert was really good, we were a bit disappointed that the comedians were only introducing the acts, but it was still good and of course Robbie was worth waiting for. We went down again in the elevator, and then the police sent us ahead of the crowd to the train, and the Guard let us sit in the Engine compartment and pointed out which buttons not to push. There was a big red one marked 'do not push' which Tye found it very hard to resist lol

OK a small break in the what we did for some scrapping, I have decided to try and finish all unfinished layouts and books from past retreats and classes, OMG I didn't realize how many I had lying around so here are a few of them, some of them I think are from Scrappers Paradise Retreats.

I am still into making the cards and very much into KennyK downloads here are a couple of recent ones

We had a great family day out at Marwell Zoo, love this place, once I get over the fact that I hate seeing animals in cages, this is one of the better places though. We packed up a picnic lunch and for once had some fabulous weather, it is a long walk round and we are all exhausted by the end of it but it was a great day out, and of course a perfect opportunity for another of my passions, photography.

Connor and Tye met up with Connor's Grandma Marion and went to Bird World they had a great day out, and I did lend them one of my cameras lol

Connor has just done a sponsored walk for his school it was 6.25 miles and he decided to run it, Tye and he trained for five days beforehand and they ran approx 20 miles in training. He did the 6.25miles in 61 minutes we are really proud of him, not just for running it the whole way but for the effort and dedication that he put into the training.

Just a few random photos of my boy.

Just a Quick One

2010-08-25T09:40:00.000Z

The last two pages of the wedding album, just need to find some extending posts as the album became a little bulkier than I thought, and lots of brown, gold or cream tissue paper to wrap in for effect.

Busy Busy

2010-08-24T10:03:00.000Z

Where has the time gone, well this is just a quick update with more pages and a card for the wedding album.

Changed these two, they still need some flowers and flourishes, the album was meant to be simple but I can never do simple lol

Only a few more pages to finish off then to box up and wrap in tissue paper, I hope she likes it.

This is the card.

Summer 2010

2010-08-17T18:47:00.001Z

Connor had a great week at his Street Dance Camp and we are now looking for Street Dance classes.

It was a mad rush on the Friday, picked Connor up at 3pm and we were then on a train to the North (yep we remembered the passports as we were going past Watford Gap) for 6pm, a four hour journey. It was a bit of a panic as I had booked assistance to get off the train, as I never travel light, and it didn't turn up as it was I had to get Connor off and between us we managed to get one bag on the platform and Connor before the door shut, I was then pan icing as I hadn't seen my mother and my son was on the platform and the train was about to go with me on it!!!!!!!! Luckily the Guard saw Connor panicing and opened the door again, where's the panic button when you need it...

In between the bus and the train we finally managed to give Tye his birthday cake.

It was lovely to see my mother again and nice to spend quite a long time with her, I also got to see Helen a lot which was lovely and of course meet up with Sue and meet both of her boys.

This is Tai her baby or 'fat spotty brat' as she calls him, he was very cute.

My mother had a new Guide Dog puppy and he was 14 weeks old when we got there and sooo cute, he is called Stokes, she still also has William who is now three.

We took the dogs up to the woods and there was a stunning park made out of trees, Connor had a great time up there and even met a few boys to play with. There were some stunning tree carvings in the woods themselves.

We went Go Carting or at least Connor did and he did really well, the weather actually held out whilst he was on the track, but then the heavens opened just as Connor had finished. The weather wasn't too bad, only rained once and wasn't as cold as I usually remember it to be in the North.

My father went on holiday on the Friday, off to sunny Teneriffe, we are definitely going away next year or at Christmas I really miss the hot weather. We did go and see the allotment before he left and he had left some potatoes for Connor to dig up, which he really enjoyed.

These are some of the massive onions that he grows.

On the first weekend mum had a fund raiser to do for the Guide Dogs so we went and gave a hand, she does quite a lot of these as The Guide Dogs for the Blind is a complete charity, it is not funded by the government so it takes a lot of volunteers to raise money.

Connor really likes Owls and they had some Birds of Prey and he got to hold one and later on in the week we found an Owl Sanctuary.

They had other birds the vultures were scary, and all the birds were behind small wired mesh so I was really impressed that I managed to get quite a few photos of the birds, by not focusing on the wire. The one with the orange face and weird eyes was quite scary.

When we got back Tye had his birthday present booked in, I had bought him a tattoo for his birthday, not that I am a fan, but he had been wanting one for the last few years, especially to cover up the one on his should which is meant to be the silhouette of a soldier, with 'for my country' underneath it but looks like a lump of coal. This new tattoo is going to go down his arm and then over his back to cover it and then a little bit on his chest. I am going to draw the soldier for him so that he can have this one done again.

I have been working on more layouts for the wedding album and really need to get a wriggle on with it as I have to post it by next Thursday but it is coming on very well.

The Holidays

2010-07-29T09:08:00.000Z

Well the end of the School year came and went, I cannot believe that Connor has been at the Senior School for a whole year and will be going into year 8 in September, scary.

Connor has gone to Street Dance Academy for a week, I was really worried about this and so was he, the last week at school was very difficult, but he has been so grown up about this, it is what he wants to learn, so he was determined to do it and knew that he would be home sick.

The week included break dance, locking and popping classes, singing lessons and an X-factor end of week contest. He got on the bus fine, he was really nervous beforehand, but he did it and the first night seemed to go OK, the next night not so good, but he does seem to be coping OK and having a fabulous time. I am sooo proud of him and looking forward to seeing all the new dance moves he has learnt.

With Connor away I haven't really been up to much, Tye and I went to the cinema to see Inception which I didn't really want to see, but did actually enjoy it, we then went into Eclipse, which was the third time for me, and it was still very good.

Took Tye out for a meal for his birthday and got to wear my shoes, they were really comfortable, but they are definitely 'meal' shoes, you know step out of the car, take four steps into restaurant, arrange legs so gorgeous shoes can be seen, when the meal is over take four steps back into the car and remove the minute you walk into the house lol They are far too high but absolutely gorgeous.

It was Tye's birthday on Tuesday 38 bless him, I think he will have a nervous breakdown when he hits 40.

Connor made him a card and so did I.

The fox is a stamp I bought at the Newbury Stamp Show, and the golfer is a Kenny K download, am loving their designs.

I have been doing a few more pages for the wedding album, but need to scan them, I have done one of Connor's football team as it looks like he won't be playing next season and also one from the last UK scrappers Cyber crop.

This is yet another card made with Kenny K digital stamps love em.

And finally a photo from Shaun and Nat's birthday of Tye and I that I actually like, Connor took this and he is turning into a very talented little photographer.

Ooops maybe not finally lol, I took some more photos of the beautiful Isla and thanks to Ally, am loving Picasa turned them into a collage

Finally some scrapping

2010-07-18T22:27:00.001Z

I am hating this weather at the moment, brrr, I have missed two bbq's this weekend as I haven't been feeling too well, luckily a friend took Connor to the camp one today and he had a great time bless him.

Totally changing the subject as I am really miffed, I recently bought a bottle of Immac, and was astounded at how expensive the thing was, OK it came in a pretty pink can with a pretty pink plastic thing attached. Why I decided to buy it I don't know I have usually been very impressed with my purple razor, done in seconds and not usually much blood lost. OK read the instructions, shake can, spray area liberally wait three minutes then use pretty pink scrappy thing to take off mouse and of course hair....... Yeah right someone should have them up against the Trade Descriptions Act three minutes my ***e. Three minutes didn't remove a thing try 20 minutes and then there were some residual hairs still clinging on. I am definitely going to email them and complain. Bring back the purple razor all is forgiven.

Still on the subject of hair removal, I have walked past the 'threading' booth at Debenhams time and time again and thought about giving it a try. Again I have a trusty method, attack hairs with tweezers, you may or may not get a straight line. So I am sat in the chair with one hand holding my forehead up the other pulling my eye lid down whilst this woman threads my eyebrows, and when I say thread I mean thread, she had a reel of cotton in her hand before I closed my eyes. I must warn you that if you wear contact lenses taking them out beforehand would be a good idea, or probably not pressing so hard on your eyelid would be a better one. I had asked the woman who had it done before me if it hurt, she blatantly lied....... My eyes were watering and I can't remember inflicting so much pain on myself voluntarily for a long time. Will I have it done again ............... yes probably, the end results were very good, note to self though, have this done just before you go home so you don't have to walk about with a bright red forehead and red watery eyes.

I recently dug out Connor's bedroom and it took me two days to do it, I figured it would be quicker if he wasn't there as we wouldn't then have the arguments about saving junk stuff like those stupid McDonald's toys (hate them).... I took four bin bags full of stuff out of his room, and he didn't notice when he got home!!!!!!!!! This is what I found under his bed......

No wonder I have troubling getting that child to eat his dinner, will be checking under the bed regularly. Did remind me of when I was a child and used to come home from school and have to mountaineer over the mountain of stuff my mother had pulled out from under my bed whilst I was at school, it is amazing how much stuff you can hide under a bed......

OK scrapping yes I have been scrapping, well card making to begin with, I was inspired as usual by Debbie Yates, and digital stamps and had a look to see what was around, I found some gorgeous 'diva' stamps from KenyKdownloads I had fun colouring them in with my pro markers and then made up a card from one of them.

These are a few of the other I bought.

Photos are not the best today as my photo shop is on a computer that doesn't go on line and I have spent most of the day in bed. But still loving these images, you can print them whatever size you want. My colouring in doesn't look too bad either lol

We had a fabulous Easter Egg hunt back in 2007 with Brett and Gaby our extended family and I have been meaning to make a mini book for a while and finally managed to finish it. I am not sure where the 2 went it was on there before I took the photo honest.

Box that the album goes in... minus 2!!!!!

There are a few more pages and I am sure I have the map still, which I will also put into the box.

Whilst away on my retreat, I borrowed some stamps from Katy, 7Gypsy ones which were fabulous and I finally managed to track them down at Dyan's, 'Art from the Heart'.

Will swing this photo round tomorrow.

Another project I am working on is a wedding album, no not mine, I took photos for a wedding last year and I am making the bride and groom an album for their first anniversary, they don't read this so I won't be spoiling anything by putting up a few photos, I will be sending it in a large box all wrapped up in tissue paper for them as a surprise.

Have a way to go but need to be finished by 27th of August as their anniversary is 30th.

Lastly another digital stamp that I bought and have coloured in just need to make the card, this one is from, Karen's Doodles, isn't he cute.

Can't wait to put him on a card.

Major Catch Up

2010-07-16T10:32:00.004Z

This is going to be a big catch up as usual lol

I love it when the blossom comes out on the trees and every year have to take a photo

Elephant Parade London 2010

We followed the Elephant Parade London 2010 which is a series of statues of elephants decorated by different artists to bring the plight of Asian Elephants to peoples minds. We had a fabulous day tracking down the elephants and found 62 of them in all, I missed going to see them all at the Royal Hospital in Chelsea.

The fish and chip one was one of my favourites.

The detail in this one was amazing.

Cat being one of my favourites animals, this one had to be shown

These are just a few more that we saw that day.

My Birthday

My birthday arrived and I was overwhelmed by the amount of gorgeous cards I got especially the home made ones which were so imaginative and beautifully made.

Never have a conversation with a 12 year old about how intelligent cats are, this was his idea that if they were so intelligent then they could open their own food...... Bagheera doesn't look very impressed.

Connor's 12th Birthday

Connor had a true Vallely Birthday, the whole weekend lol He had his presents from us Saturday morning then had two friends round whom we took go-cart racing and then we played air hockey and went to the Cinema to see Shrek 3D and of course Kentucky on the way home and then they stayed for a sleepover.

This was the birthday card I made him, the papers were Rusty Pickle and just perfect for the card.

Then on the Sunday he had 11 more friends round for a football and pizza party as it was the fatal England football game, it was quite amusing as they all got very involved in the game and Tye was very well behaved kind of lol

Weekend Retreat with Indecisives

My weekend away with my Indecisive Team mates was fun, a very long drive but well worth it to spend time with Sue, Katy and Ally, unfortunately Suzy didn't make it, and we was missed. We scrapped, cried with laughter and found a few dubious country pubs. The place we stayed in was in the middle of no where and I mean 'no where', there was no wifi and no mobile signal, I felt very cut off from my normal techie world. The view was very impressive though as we were in the middle of a valley and there were sheep and cows grazing in the field. The cottage was lovely, very quaint, Katy and I had a few issues with the flying part of nature and those that had eight legs, but we survived.......

The dog was called Honey and she was the farmers dog, absolutely lovely and so well behaved, well until Sue and Katy invited her in LOL ......

This was Sue/Katy's melt pot, rose made from grunge paper, which didn't seem to like the beautifully coloured UTEE, it was given pride of place but had us all in absolute hysterics whilst it was being made, not sure what has happened to Sue's melt pot, wouldn't hold out on its survival rate though.

Had to set the timer to get this one and it did take a few attempts

Natalie and Shaun's 30th

Natalie and Shaun has a joint 30th Birthday party and I took some photos whilst I was there, I did bring my light system but the lighting was awful and I wish I had brought white backgrounds instead but some of them turned out OK.

The day after the Party we went over to Rachel and Gregg's to watch the air show from their balcony, it was a beautiful day, and we did see the planes in the distance, I think Connor was a bit tired from the night before bless him.....

Photo Shoot with Isla

This is a montage of some of the photos I took of Isla, this is a beautiful family to photograph

SAD

2010-06-15T09:37:00.000Z

I will catch up with photos of my birthday and the weekend away later in the week, but for today I just feel sad.

I have just ordered some flowers to be delivered to Declan and as usual agonized over what to put on the tiny card that goes with them.

I do celebrate his life, the memories I have of him make me smile, but I will always be bitter, your children shouldn't die before you do that's not the way life should be.

June

2010-05-27T16:02:00.002Z

Its nearly June, and that brings lots of emotions good and bad. My birthday being one of the not so good, Tye and I had to make the very hard decision of turning off our eldest son's life support on my birthday, so not really a day I celebrate, I do to some extent for Connor as its hard to explain to a child that that decision and memory will haunt me forever, don't get me wrong, I know we made the right decision, the right decision for Declan and that was what Tye and I promised each other that our feelings in it didn't mater it would be what was best for our son, but that doesn't mean that the decision wasn't hard and that the pain of it fades, because it doesn't. We made the decision on my birthday, he died on father's day and of course the day after is our anniversary, so a week of painful memories to come. This year Tye is being sent to Afghanistan for a week and of course leaves on the Sunday of the beginning of this week, always the way, so this year we both have to deal with the emotions separately. Its difficult to explain to people that I don't really celebrate without explaining why and making them feel awkward.

I did a photo shoot last week for a new born and she was beautiful, but as both her parents and brother are gorgeous there wasn't any other option.

Connor and Tye took advantage of the warm weather and had a massive water fight in the back garden, they had great fun and were literally soaked, I managed to get some good photo's from the doorway and only get wet a few times lol.

Connor wants to do a somersault on the ground, I don't really fancy a trip to A&E so we have struck a deal that he has to land it on his feet 5 times in a row before he does it on the ground........

I have been working on another mini book, of a fabulous Easter Egg Treasure Hunt and Brett and Tye set up for Gaby and Connor.

And another card of course for Kellie and Matt on the birth of Isla, congratulations guys xx

The Weekend

2010-05-16T17:33:00.000Z

This weekend has gone as usual very quickly, didn't get a lie in but that was my own fault woke up at about 7am both Saturday and Sunday and couldn't get back to sleep.....

We recently bought CineWorld unlimited cards, they cost £13.50 a month per person, but you can go as often as you want for this, we saw 6 films in April and have seen three so far this month, you can use them any amount of times in the same day so just spend the day going in and out of films and see the same one over and over again if you want to.

The boys went to see Robing Hood on Friday. They thought it was really good, but Tye said it was as if it was a prequel and ended at the beginning. Not one I really fancied, too violent for me and I loved the romance in the original one (well the one with Kevin Costner).

Saturday morning we went to see StreetDance 3D, not a lot of 3Dgreat film, typical feel good film, the music was great and there were guys in tights, and wow did they look good in them.

Managed to get some photo's of all my cats, even Bagheera who is usually very difficult to catch.

Also took some photos of Connor;

There's a craze going around Connor's school at the moment Sour Pops, which seem to turn your tongue a different colour lol, have a set of these which are going to make a good layout.

I've been making some more cards, really enjoying these, have even given a few away for Birthdays.

Connor recently went on a school trip to Kew Gardens and so I lent him one of my cameras, a small one lol and told him to take lots of photos but to make sure he was in at least three of them, he did a really good job, some of the photos were great and he was in three of them lol

Cards

2010-05-14T12:05:00.001Z

Just a quick one forgot to mention on the last entry, get me two entries in two days, need to sit down.

I have started making cards, I have never been able to make them because they are so small and fiddly but these are 6x6 so you could say they are a small scrapbook page lol Anyway from inspiration from a friend, the very very talented Debby Yates see her blog here I have made these.

I am actually enjoying making them and have made a few more which I do need to take photos of.

Catch Up I think .................

2010-05-12T12:18:00.001Z

Ok it will soon be June, and June is halfway through the year..... did I blink and miss the rest of it, is it just me or do the years seem to be flying by at the moment. Am definitely feeling my age, or maybe the weather is affecting me (well I can wish), seem to be very tired at the moment, nearly had an afternoon nap, and that definitely isn't me, the day I give in to afternoon naps I will really throw in the towel.

So what have I been up to....

Every year I organize an Easter Egg hunt for our camp and this year was no different, we had over 50 children turn up with their respective parents and a fun day was had by all, we even got a volunteer for the Easter bunny this year..

Large Easter Eggs are donated to the kids and they then get to try to follow my cryptic clues and find lots of little chocolate eggs. Easter is not a good time for me especially on a 'non chocolate year', maybe that is one good thing about it being nearly June, I am half way through the 'non chocolate year'. Roll on January 1st lol

My mum came for a visit during Easter which was really nice, I still had to work but she got to spend time with Connor.

Connor with his chocolate stash, there are some of the eggs still left.

Whilst mum was down, I took her and Connor to the UK Wolf Conservation Trust, this is a lovely place that has plenty of space for the Wolves and runs the occasional day where you can interact with them.

Unfortunately shortly after we went they one of the wolves Dakota lost her fight with Cancer.

It was an amazing experience to get to meet and actually stroke these animals. We were told that we could not touch them on the back or the head but had to stroke them on their stomach, which to them was equivalent to shaking hands with someone. To touch them on the back or head would be equivalent to a complete stranger giving us a bear hug. This was something I did not know. We also learnt that once the wolf had your scent, no matter how many years later they saw you again they would recognize you from the scent.

There has also been a UKscrappers Cyber Crop which I really enjoyed, all the classes were fabulous, although some were not for me, I did do three/four of the classes, maybe not in the time limit though.

This is one of my favourite photos of my boys, sums them up, mischievous.

I have been busy with a few photo shoots:

A bump photo shoot;

Which I am now happy to hear that they have had a little girl Isla Elizabeth, Congratulations Matt, Kellie and baby brother Jack. I am now looking forward to doing tiny baby shots lol.

Have also taken some toddler shots and will be doing the family ones soon.

The crops are still busy and the all day ones are just great fun, I always make too much food but I figure if everyone has plenty to eat and drink it makes for a happy day. We all work under the assumption that there are no calories at crops. LOL

I also finally got around to visiting my friend Sue in Poole, I have known Sue a lot of years and we have been through some funny and some tragic events together. She came and saw me two years ago, I cannot believe that I have left it that long, so Connor and I went down to visit her, she has mellowed slightly but she is still the same strong vibrant character she has always been. I also got to see her daughter Jayanna, who I looked after when she was only a week old, she is gorgeous.

but the best news ever and I don't even think a win on the lottery could top it is that my dearest friend has finally got her wish. It has torn me about these last few years seeing what she has put herself through both physically and mentally, but it has all paid off, I am so happy for her I could cry, in fact I have several times already. Love you sweetheart and will always be there for you.

2010-03-29T15:05:00.001Z

I recently bought some scrapping templates, and thought I would have a play with them over the weekend.

The first one I tried was a double page:

The template allowed quite a few photos, and I used lost of brads, but it is lacking something, so I will go back and put something else to it.

The second one was a single page;

I added a few more bits to this one and some stitching.

The third one was again a single layout but this one gelled a bit more.

The templates mean that you can actually get quite a few photos on your layouts especially if you do a double layout and you can turn the templates around to make them look different. Its not my usual style of scrapping, but as I have so many photos to get through it is a good idea.

It was quite funny as Tye was sorting through his wardrobe and I took the buttons off one of the shirts he was throwing to add to this layout.....

Another Week

2010-03-15T11:46:00.000Z

I had a lovely Mothers Day, Connor appropriated my 'cricut' (I was very naughty and bought some more carts, Tags, Bags, Boxes and more, Walk in my Garden and Indie Art) when I was busy and made me a card, which is lovely bless him, mostly purple too.

The card did make me smile bless him, nearly reduced me to tears too.

I was waited on hand and foot, all my meals and drinks brought to me and I read magazines in bed and scrap booked all day. They also bought me a gorgeous cardigan and a 'pink' bag. Sorry Helen leather but it is gorgeous lol

I have been working on a few layouts at the moment team projects, think it will be ok to put them up as long as I don't say what were the required elements on them lol.

At the crop last Wednesday one of my good friends Angela gave me a clippy pencil case, (thank you so much hun xx), I had great fun filling it with good memories.

See I do finish things occasionally LOL

Thought it was about time that I uploaded a new photo onto facebook, I think I have had short hair for nearly a year now, I am thinking of going back to my original colour, mind you I would have to remember what that was, or I might go lighter seem to be a yellow colour at the moment, must remember to rectify that.

Oh the wonders of 'photoshop' LOL

Happy Birthday

2010-03-10T09:50:00.000Z

Happy 13th Birthday Declan

Another year goes by,

it doesn't hurt any less and I don't love or miss you any less

This year changed though, I have always put love mummy and daddy on the cards, but this year is a special year, my boy would of turned 13, today he would of been a teenager, it just didn't seem appropriate to put love mummy and daddy, instead I put love mum and dad.....

I am not sure what to do with myself today, I still have the crop to run tonight and I am at work today. Staying at home on my own isn't a good thing, I don't cry very often, but today is one of those days and if I was at home that would be all I would do. Mind you sitting alone in my porta cabin isn't too good either.

I'm not after sympathy, there are people worse off than me, but anniversaries are painful and I need to vent somewhere. I will bounce back though I always do, there's not much else you can do in this world but survive.

So Happy Birthday to my darling boy, I love and miss you sweetheart.

Another year goes by....

2010-03-08T11:47:00.000Z

March is one of those hard months, I have just ordered flowers to wish my eldest Happy 13th Birthday for Wednesday. It is so hard thinking of something to write on the card, there is just so many emotions and so much I want to say, but how do you fit it onto a tiny card that he will never read.

I thought I was coping better this year, it never gets any easier, and people who say it does are lying, you just learn to handle it better.

I had a horrible nightmare on Friday, I never dream about Declan, I'm not sure whether that mean's something, it doesn't mean I don't think about him as he is always in my thoughts, I just don't dream about him. I did dream that I got Casey back (my beloved dog, who saved my life and I lost Nov 08), I suppose being my last link to Declan it was inevitable I would dream about him at this time, dreams are so real, I could feel Caseys fur and his doggy breath lol, but then I opned the front door and he got run over and I had to sit with him whilst he died.. I woke up in a complete state crying my eyes out. Very poignant I think, I had to have Casey put down as his liver gave up, but it was very quick for him bless him and we had to make the decision to turn off the machines that Declan was hooked up to and held him whilst he died. I know its all related, but I don't have any other way of coping.

Last week was hectic this week will be painful, I will get through it, I always do, there are many people in this world greiving my heart goes out to all of them.

Well and truly 'INSPIRED'

2010-03-04T11:18:00.002Z

Well the retreat was aptly named;

there was so much to Inspire me.

The week running up to the retreat was hectic, I remember when we booked it and I read the bit about Masquerade Ball and decorating a Mask etc.... and though yeah lots of time, well as usual the week before I was still trying to get the house sorted as usual and make a mask and sort out photos as well as pack both clothing and equipment.

I was quite pleased with my mask other than the stick wouldn't stay on, decided not to wear a ball gown as none of the other were, I did whittle my clothing down to four pairs of shoes and yes I did wear all four pairs.

Jen and Angela arrived at a crack of dawn, poor Jen hadn't even had breakfast so we fed her some toast and they both had to have some of Connor's homemade muffins (more about these later).

Dropped Connor off at the bus, having people there made it easier for both him and me; it was something to distract him and made the morning easier for me without him getting upset.

An hour into the journey, I received a 'phone call from Connor's school and my heart sank; I had visions of having to go back and pick him up. He was in the Student Support Office in tears, but only because he had forgotten to put his homework in his bag and was worried that he would get a detention if it wasn't handed in, I did manage to get the home work emailed to the school and he avoided the detention, bless him.

I like to plug the Sat Nav in and get to my destination, so we didn't stop, although I did say that I would if anyone was desperate. We stopped off at a lovely pub about two miles from the Crabwall Manor, and had a carvery lunch for £3.50, food was lovely staff were on another planet.

A quick trip to Morrisons for copious bottles of wine (which I still have rolling around in the boot of my car!!!). Then we arrived at the hotel.

It didn't quite look like the photo on the internet!!! LOL

This was the older part but the entrance was through a modern part which they had obviously built onto the original house, nethertheless it was beautiful.

Managed to have a quick dip in the pool, Jen and Elizabeth got tired after about three laps so we decided that the Jacuzzi was a better option .

The dining room was lovely and not too cramped with over 80 of us eating. We think Karen bribed the waiters as she always seemed to get more breakfast than the rest of us!!!! being a traditional cooked English breakfast it would of been rude not to have one...

The house was full of rooms leading into other room and it did take a while not to get confused, I did walk into a broom cupboard at one stage, soon learnt where the classroom, cropping room and shops where though.

The Friday was nice it was a chance to meet everyone relax after the journey, and as I said we even made a trip to the Spa, did take us about 15 mins to figure out how to get the Spar working lol

First class was Lance, he is amazing, love his teaching technique and also that he shows us slides and tells us amusing stories about his kids. It is so sad that he will no longer be teaching, he is just so good at it.

The first class was a mini book with a gigantic book template that there was no way you were keeping on your own desk without attempting to poke out the eye of the person sitting next to you. Much to Lis's annoyance lol there were camera's everywhere and so the obligatory pose with the teacher photos ensue.

Lance Anderson and the Gang.

Karen Burniston and the Gang (where's Jen?)

Dina Wakely and of course the Gang

Emma Trout and the Gang lol

We didn't manage to get pictures of Lida De Witte who is an amazing teacher; her projects never cease to Inspire me.

The classes were very hectic, but great fun, we over ran on several occasions.

Saturday night was the night of the ball! I wasn't too keen on this one, but the meal was good and as usual the Company was great.

ALL DRESSED UP

Our Masks

Pre Dinner drinks

Fancy foot wear

Dinner

As soon as dinner was over we all escaped back to our rooms to pull our jeans and flat shoes on again and go to the crop room to try to actually finish a project to take home, didn't manage it.

There was no goodie bag, but I didn't mind this I have only received one goodie back in all the retreats that I have been on that was worth taking home.

Instead we had little gifts left on our beds, this was day one, and I love this magazine so to find two free copies beautifully wrapped up in ribbon waiting for me was lovely. On day two there was a beautiful array of paper flowers again presented with ribbon.

This was Lida's Class, it was beautiful

The photos do not do it justice, there was so much work in this and it was so intricate. Lida informed us that it was very simple to make!!!! hmm not sure her English was right here, this is one of my unfinished projects but I am determined to finish it.

This was Dina Wakley's mini book Fly Free, absolutely beautiful.

Beautiful 3D birdie book by Karen Burniston

One of Karen's favourite sayings was 'looking not doing', she used

this a lot, I did try it in my class but it didn't go down very well lol

Lance Anderson's second class double page layout

On the Sunday just before we went Michelle turned up with trays of the biggest Cup Cakes you have ever seen and again all beautifully wrapped up in ribbons.

The journey back was ok and we did it in three hours, but again no stops lol

I thoroughly enjoyed my weekend away, great Company and fantastic classes, met some really lovely new friends and will hopefully be seeing them all again in October.

2010-02-23T21:27:00.001Z

We had a CAMHS appointment on February 8th, we had been holding out for this appointment, I think hoping that it would solve a lot of things or at least explain a lot of things.

‘The Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) helps young people and their families when their thoughts and feelings overwhelm them.
At times, many parents and young people feel stressed, anxious, down or angry. Sometimes these feelings can get in the way of coping with everyday life. This struggle to cope can show itself in many ways, such as angry outbursts, feelings of helplessness, struggles to get to work or school, and problems in getting on with one another.’

This is what the website said about it and because of a friend I knew what to expect. I wanted to talk to the woman first just Tye and myself and voice our worries as we did not want to worry Connor unduly, as it was we had to ask him to leave the room whilst we explained a few things, so I wasn’t pleased with that.

First was explaining our family tree, which was fun, Connor didn’t automatically mention Declan which did surprise me, but both Tye and I felt that they ought to know so we prompted her to ask him, he then said that he had had an older brother but mum and dad had to unplug the life support. This was difficult for both Tye and I and sad because of all the stories Connor had heard about Declan that was the one we didn’t want him to have to remember. The rest of the family tree was fun, Tye and I each don’t speak to a sibling, so Connor has no contact with cousins. Tye’s family is complicated to say the least, having two mother’s and two father with all of them having new partners. Could almost see the words ‘dysfunctional’ being mentally written down.

We are being referred to an anxiety group, but not sure how helpful this is going to be. When we talk to Connor we are almost certain that the main problem is his Dyslexia which the system is failing to recognize and assist with. He feels that he cannot keep up with his classes and is struggling which is leading to the anxiety and depression.

We will see what the next appointment will bring.

Going back to school after half term was not good, back to the same worrying and crying again, which is heartbreaking after having such a lovely week at half term.

Conner had science homework where we had to describe the journery of 'sperm' yes you heard right to making a baby, have been meaning to put this on here for a while, we decided to do it cartoon like and of course the sperm had to have dark glasses and be carrying a bunch of flowers lol

We went to see Percy Jackson and the lightening thief at the Newbury cinema, and we all really enjoyed it, Tye was a bit dubious at first but changed his mind.

I have been working on a mini book of Connor's 10th birthday, yes I know he is 12 this year but that is how far behind I am. These are a few of the pages, quite simple ones for me, but I wanted to get it done.

I was introduced to an app on the Ipod by one of my team mates on UKS Sammie, its called 'project 365' and is a photo a day app and I am really enjoying doing it and because of the way it is set out, it prompts you to take the photo, not sure what I am going to do with it yet but we shall see.

Went to my first Dinner night, and probably my last. Dieted for about three weeks, had nails and hair done etc. Forgot that Tye's Mess dress is red and clashed horribly with my purple dress!!!!!!!!!

The food was awful, starter was a soup, which would have made a lovely sauce for a steak it was that thick and lumpy. Main course was chicken, but it was on the bone, so Tye got two of them, it was served with carrots, green beans and 'mar mite' potatoes, I couldn't believe they would do mar mite!! not one of my favourite things, so the vegetables and sauce was quite nice. The redeeming factor was the sweet, creme brulee with little heart shaped biscuits and a strawberry, yum, worth starving myself for three weeks for...
The politics at these things are awful, and it did shock be that everyone turns on their own, and it's not taken in jest. One of things people do is grab the place cards and write messages to the RSM on them, just stupid things like 'can I buy you a bottle of port sir', but of course its not the person who writes it but the person who's name is on it that gets read out. A bit of this went on but it did get a bit nasty. The not being able to leave the table during dinner is another bone of contention, I know its an old tradition, but it is medically dangerous now and a pain.
It was nice to catch up with a few people and to be ignored by others lol, but I was glad that we had to get back for the babysitter, if definitely wasn't worth the cost of having my nails done.

Took Connor out into the woods that surround our house over the weekend, for some fresh air and to have a play with the cameras, he loves taking photos too. We didn't get too many photos of nature, but these are a few of Connor's shots, I was really impressed.

And one of me taking photos lol

This was one of the few nature shots I actually got, loved the way the bark was hanging off this tree.

These were a few I took, we were meant to take photos of nature, but of course the furballs wanted to know what we were up to.

Calloway who is always in charge

Odyssey who is too curious for her own good

and of course shadow who is just a little mischief maker

The Weekend

2010-01-30T22:56:00.009Z

A Couple of Layouts finished tonight.

This is a quiet weekend as Tye is away with a few of his mates, every year they have a get together, they don't really remember much of it I think but they do enjoy it lol. Last year they met up in Germany and did the Pide Piper of Hamlen Tour, apparently there has to be a bit of culture!!!!! This year they are in London, not sure whether it is the Red Bus Tour or what, mind you they do intend to take in Brighton...... Should be interesting.

Tye had a few emails about the weekend that made me laugh;

No 1:

This be the plan for Friday:

1. Bring sleeping bags, towels etc. There are a couple of sofas, a bed settee and a spare bed to fight over (between 8 !)

2. Get to the Smoke (suggest buying Zones 1-3 day travel card), get Northern Line to Clapham Common tube Station.

3. Meet in O'Neills opposite the tube station - I'll be there by 5pm at the latest (possibly earlier). Some of us can nip back to mine (15 mins) and drop all the bags off.

4. Consume heinous quantities of alcohol for 36 hours in London and Brighton (forecast looks good for crawl along the seafront !).

5. Take a week to recover.

The Second email read as follows:

"No plan survives the fist contact with the enemy" (in our case the first drinking establishment) von Molke (or someone like that - German, old, huge mustache, tendencies toward world domination)

…so the plan may appear good with foresight, but hindsight will almost suggest a different conclusion. For example, I suspect on Monday morning that we all wish your plan had said something like:

1. meet at my house, quiet meal, glass of wine

2. decent nights sleep away from children/horses (delete as appropriate)

3. visit to London Zoo to see nice animals

4. quiet meal at reasonable pub in characterful part of town

5. early night

6. home at sensible hour to help other halves with children/horses(delete as appropriate) [without feeling sick when mucking out etc] …or then again we can go to Brighton :)

From the 'phone calls/text I have been receiving I believe Plan 1 is winning!!!!!

Is it still January...............

2010-01-28T11:44:00.004Z

January has been HELL so far, well 2010 didn't start too well. We have been having difficulties with Connor going to school for a while now, it all started slightly after September, he went from a very small school to a very large school, so we just thought that it would take him a while to get used to things, plus the fact that he is dyslexic didn't help.

He has been having anxiety attacks, and I haven't been able to get him to go to school quite a few days, I won't go into too much of it, I can't write this on face book as all his friends are on there and he would be mortified if they found out and started teasing him. It has been very difficult for him and Tye and I to see him in this state. We have a CAHMs appointment in February and I am hoping that this might help him, I just don't know what to do and as a mother feel totally useless that something is hurting my child and I can't stop it. I know that people are thinking that its my fault that I have spoilt him and made him soft and to a certain degree I agree with that, I have wrapped him in cotton wool, given him every bit of attention and time that I could and tried to make his life easier, but I defy anyone to say that after going through what we have with losing his brother and the start he had in life, that they would of done things differently.

I am also feeling very low at the moment, because, last year I was stalked for a while by a man in his 60's, he kept coming into work and complimenting me, carrying my bags to my car and I am such a wimp I didn't say anything about it, but he really creeps me out. This went on for a while and I mentioned in the shop about it and the woman in there had a word with him and I didn't see him for about six months. He was back last week, rattling on about stress in the army and how if he broke my son's arm all that was on the other end of a phone was an answer phone!!! The conversation was distressing me and I tried to end it and in the end my boss rescued me with a phone call saying I had to go to his office. On Monday I went into work for about an hour and a half and then went home, my boss wasn't around that day, and I am a lone worker, I was watching the window constantly dreading that he would come in. I am really annoyed at myself for not being more assertive and having the nerve to tell him to go away. My boss has now had words with him and we are hoping that this will be the end, but then I thought that last time.

I really need to be more assertive, I always pick up stray cases and weirdos as I feel sorry for them and have to stop and listen, more fool me....

On a lighter note I uploaded some of the snow photos of Tye and Connor having fun.

Not sure who is winning here lol.

Just loved this one of my gorgeous boy who is growing up so fast.

This is the remains of a sunflower that grew in our vegetable patch, I thought it looked very artistic.

Think Connor definitely lost this round......

I have now finally managed to teach the Christmas mini book, although I think everyone is still fighting their was through it, 27 pages of instructions later..... Just a few more of the pages....

The book is filled with secret pockets and journaling tags.

I was very good with the journaling, the book is filled with memories and reminders of Christmas 2009.

This Christmas was extremely hectic.....

Weekend bliss

2010-01-16T15:18:00.009Z

This weekend is a relaxing one, we didn't get up early, then had a fabulous cooked breakfast, with the works, sausage, bacon, etc could only have been better if I hadn't had to cook it....

The boys are having a lazy day, Tye watching TV in bed Connor lounging on his sofa playing games and watching TV, me well I am catching up with a few sites and scrapping couldn't be better.

Mind you this morning this made me laugh, once I'd got over my indignation. I had just finished my shower, and was getting dressed and had just said to Tye that it wouldn't matter if I didn't put a bra on as we weren't going anywhere, didn't realize that Connor was stood in the door way and he piped up ' I don't know a little help doesn't go amiss' didn't know where to be annoyed or laugh, didn't help that Tye was wetting himself laughing.......

Am annoyed with the cats at the moment, very pleased that the snow is melting but of course that now means mud, and how four tiny cats can cause so much havoc or leave so many little black paw prints is beyond me, I think they must of walked round the tiled kitchen floor 50 times last night or a least it looks that was this morning.... there were also tiny footprints on the sofa, the chairs, the living room table and the toilet and sink....... luckily I closed to door to my work room.

They have taken to the habit of lying on the top shelf of the towel rack little horrors and this morning there were two of them on it....

Some Layouts that I have done and not uploaded.

These photos are of course from my leopard photo shoot.

This is another one for my America Album which I am still trying to complete, just too many photos.

A mini book that I made for my mother with photos of her and Connor,

Another page for my America Album but this also doubled as a Team Challenge for my fabulous Team, The Indecisives

And yet another for my America album, love the photos on this one, a silly ride which the adults took very seriously lol

Another week of snow

2010-01-13T17:49:00.004Z

A Few of my stamps, there are five more shelves and of course this is not the clear stamp collection. Think I may have a bit of an addiction.

Tidy room again, doesn't stay this way long though, I am such a messy scrapper.

This is the front cover and one of the pages of my Christmas Mini Book class, which I still have to teach thanks to the snow, it has approx 35 photos in it.

This weather is a total pain, beautiful but a pain lol

One of my Christmas presents was a small camera, my Canon is my baby but although I do try it is very difficult to carry it with me at all times lol, especially now I have the external flash on it too, so the boys bought me a Samsung 12.2 mega pixel camera, I hate small camera, but I am getting used to this one, and it doesn't take too bad a photo. Tested it out on the snow this morning.

No school today and as I had no internet at work, I took the day off, finished my tax return, yes I know I've left it to the last minute but that's me lol

No crop tonight either which is two weeks now, everyone is getting stir crazy and I now need to fit this book class in as the next class will be due soon.

2010

2010-01-10T13:30:00.007Z

Christmas this year was really busy, but we were really pleased that we got to see all our relatives at the end of the year.

Lynn came and stayed for a weekend and took Connor out and bought him a Christmas present.

We drove up to my parents in Middlesbrough and spent three days with them, having a fabulous early Christmas day, complete with dinner and presents, thanks mum it was a lovely day, even if you didn't get my clues in articulate and I got squashed by the dogs lol.

Tye and I spent a lovely day out together and I got to meet up with another member of my Team, Sue our Team Leader who is such I lovely person, I could of sat and talked to her for hours. I am hoping that she is going to come and stay for a weekend. I even caught up with Helen, who means to the world to me, albeit briefly, but again I am hoping she will come and stay in 2010 and that this will be a special year for her xx.

The snow proved slightly difficult for us as we were going to leave Saturday night after my all day crop, but in the end we left at first light on the Sunday.

We then had a lovely Christmas day just the three of us, Casey was again missed as we didn't go on our usual Christmas morning walk, but the bacon sandwiches and hat photos were obligatory.

Connor got an itouch for Christmas he really wanted a phone but was very pleased with his itouch and understood that he is too young for an iphone and that his pocket money would not stretch to the £34 a month contract lol

Boxing day we packed up and headed to Dorset to see Mal and Michael, Connor was surprised with an electric guitar for Christmas (hmm this is one of those grandparents getting their own back present I suspect....) we had a great time and a very musical evening with Tye and Michael on Saxophone, me on clarinet, and Connor and Mal on guitar, felt very sorry for the neighbours.

Whilst there it was lovely to go and visit Declan, we brought him some lovely flowers and we both sat and talked to him for a while, I still feel and I know I will always feel that life cheated me, and very bitter, its so difficult not to think that I should have two boys buckled up in the back seat, be able to watch two boys open their Christmas presents and go excitedly to bed Christmas Eve, but you take what life throws at you I suppose.

We then had one day to prepare for me cooking dinner for 9 people, this was a bit scary I have never cooked for that many before. We were having Tye's dad, girlfriend and both his brothers and girlfriends rounds for a Christmas dinner. We had hired the welfare flat for them to stay in as it would have been a bit tight with that many people.

We manged to get everyone around the table but had to have a separate table for food, but everyone enjoyed dinner, I think lol. We then had opening presents and played raving rabid rabbits which was hilarious, then the boys beat us, but only just at trivia pursuits. Gregg and Rachel had to go that night, but the rest of us had hot croissants the next morning and more fun on the wii, Shaun and Natalie left before lunch and then John and Sue after lunch.

It was really nice getting around and seeing everyone this Christmas, but totally exhausting.

The End of 2009

2010-01-10T13:14:00.003Z

2009

Well that went in a flash...........

So much for blogging too lol, stopped again after the mega post in August.

Well 2009 was too bad a year, there were lots of good things and also a few bad things.

My world came to an abrupt halt in November, it has started spinning again now slowly, but this it is something that will not go away easily, I cannot believe the vindictiveness of some people. It is too painful to talk about or blog about, but as I always say life goes on, it may limp that way for a while, you may think differently about people and as usual your heart may get broken but life goes on.

As a community things have been hard, a friend of Tye's committed suicide leaving behind three young children, I just cannot comprehend this, the pain that he must of been going through to do something like this and leave his kids behind, it brings me to tear every time I think of those poor kids without their father.

Slap on the wrist!!!!

2009-06-25T11:32:00.013Z

OK I know I have neglected my blog and I love blogging, and I love even more that I can go back and read what I have done with my days when I forget, which is actually quite often!!!

Have been very busy

Went for a week at my parents around Easter time, usually a mixed visit, I love seeing my parents, but they are usually at each other's throats or ignoring each other, so the atmosphere is not the best, but as I said I love seeing them, mum and I got to spend some quality time together with was nice and I met her newest guide dog, a golden lab called Victor, very cute but boisterous and of course William who must be the worlds most laid back dog

I cannot believe it has been so long since I updated.

Well mum's dog Victor is due to go shortly end of this month, as William her first dog didn't make it and she kept him, this will be the first dog that she has to say goodbye to. It is going to be very difficult for her, I am not sure whether I would have the strength to do this, but she already has another puppy, this one is called Amble. I love the names they give the dogs.

I had the amazing opportunity to photograph leopards at a private home. This was one fabulous day. Although this is a photo of Billy the Ocelot.

Connor went to stay with his grandparents for three weeks during the summer holiday, this was unbearable for me, I have never been separated from him for this long. He flew to Newcastle on his own, which was an adventure and then flew back. They went up to Scotland for two weeks with the dogs, near the beach and had a fabulous time.

Before he went I was taking him to get his hair trimmed when he decided to have it all cut off, I was horrified, I love his hair long and have never imposed on him how to have it cut. I did suggest that he talked to Tye thinking Tye might persuade him not to do it, but he wanted to surprise him. It looks gorgeous bless him so grown up, but then he suited it long. It really annoyed me as people presumed he had had it cut as he was going to the big school in September!!! or that it looked much better short!!! 'No fashion sense'....

For Tye's birthday he wanted a Saxophone, I managed to get one, but have had awful trouble with it, but that is another story, he managed to get a sound out of it and looks quite good with it lol.

Whilst Connor was away Tye and I decided to go away on our own, we hadn't had a holiday on our own for about 12 years, so we were really looking forward to it.

We decided to go to Italy as we both love the place and we are both into architecture and art. I was looking forward to a relaxing holiday, but what we did was totally different but amazing. Relaxation was not a word used!!!!! We hired a car and drove the length of Italy seeing some amazing places, we started off in Venice, I had been there as a child but it was totally different, we even had a ride on a Gondola, and he sang to us, very romantic...

Then we went to Verona, we saw the amphitheatre and Juliet's balcony.

From there we travelled to Pisa, but were unable to go up the Tower that day so we bought tickets for the tower for the Sunday and headed off to Rome. The roads were very good, we only got stuck in traffic once which was for about 10 Min's. We had a little red car which Tye named, but we had to change it as there was no way I could scrapbook what he had called it so it became 'Ze Little Fred Ucker' lol and this has to be said in a specific voice, which cracked me up every time.Rome was amazing, we walked around in total awe at the history that was all around you. We arrived in the middle of rush hour traffic and even Tye admitted that London had nothing on this. We were a bit disappointed with our hotels here, we had been booking them online as we went and this worked out really well, but the two we stayed in were very small, Tye had to turn sideways to get his shoulders into the shower lol, but they were clean and in the centre of Rome.

From Rome we travelled back to Pisa and walked up the tower, this was another place I had visited as a child and you used to be able to walk around every level, but this has now been blocked off and you walk up the middle to the first bell tower and then you can even climb the narrow steps to the very top. The view was amazing and the breeze fabulous, the weather had been in the 30's the whole time we had been there, which meant a fabulous tan for the face and arms lol as there was no where to sunbathe.

From Pisa we were going to go to Florence, but decided to meet up with John, Sue, Nat and Shaun in Lake Como, after all the walking we thought that a day sunning ourselves by a pool would be a welcome addition. No such luck, it was lovely to see everyone, but the weather turned cold over Lake Como and rained the whole day we were there. We did go out for a fabulous meal though even though the waitress was scary. We had been living on Pizza and bottled water for the last week as the Italians eat courses separately and we had had a couple of errors in food!!

From Lake Como we travelled via Lake Guada back to the airport. It was an amazing holiday and fantastic to be able to spend some time with my best friend just the two of us.

Connor came back from his holiday and Tye still had a few days so we had a family day out to Thorpe Park!! Now I can't really go on rides, which isn't a bad thing as they scare the life out of me, but the Boys went on every big ride there was, they even queued to go on one that was closed due to a fault and then reopened!!!!! We had a great day out and ended up with a water ride and all got soaked, every time I forget to bring a change of clothes....

I have been busy on the photography front, two weddings in two months, I can't say they were fun from my point of view lol nerve racking would be a word I would use and I much prefer portrait photography lol

I have joined a new team on UKS and am loving it, the girls are great and our TL is very sweet and I have actually been scrapping so much more.
The shop is still going really well, had a bit of a quiet patch over the summer but I think everyone did. The crops are still well attended and the classes will be starting up again soon.

Tye took Connor to a West Ham football game, he loved it, they both did.

The kittens are growing up really fast but still incredibly sweet. For a white cat Odyssey is not very lady like, she is always coming back filthy, not sure where she had been but she came back covered in oil.

Connor had a couple of trips to A&E, one for a sprained wrist, trying to do acrobatics on his bike down a large ditch!! and the other a burn from making tea, but two trips in 11 years is pretty good. September arrived and Connor is off to Secondary School. I didn't cry honest!!! He just looks so grown up, they have to wear blazers and ties and with the short hair he looks gorgeous. He has started to spend more time with his friends now, always out and about, I knew this was coming but hoped I would have a little more time.

Who Pinched the 'HOUR' !!!!!!!!!

2009-03-30T09:11:00.003Z

Ok who pinched an hour on Sunday and why wasn't I told about this !!!!!!!!!! Usually I hear something about this on the TV or Radio (more likely internet), but this time I found on on Sunday and was so totally unprepared for the fact that I had lost an hour!!!

This week has gone in an absolute blur, so much to do.

Thursday was our first class of this year, yes I know it is nearly April and I should of got my 'butt into gear' sooner than this, but better late than never. I now have a lovely lady Lynne designing my classes for me she is extremely talented and I think everyone will love doing the classes.

So on Thursday evening we had the first one, the LO was a double one with lots of intricate squares, hand cutting and stitching, I don't think anyone finished theirs lol but I think everyone will be pleased with the effect once they have.

The next class is even more gorgeous and this will be held on 30th April.

Then of course the run up to the All Day Crop begins lol, setting out the hall, marking up the stock, cooking the food, printing out the forms etc.

In between that was 'weigh in' !!! Yes I am still on a food less diet, and it is actually getting better, I am not missing food, unless you call an unbalanced craving for curry missing food lol.

I have now lost over 19lbs and am very happy with that, only another stone to go and I will be extremely happy.

My clothes are feeling looser and I am well on my way to fitting into most of my wardrobe again. Other than helping my self esteem, which has taken a tumble since gaining the weight, I just haven't cared what I wear, the baggier the better really, I am now taking a pride in myself and my appearance and feeling good about myself for the first time in two years. I am so determined to keep this going.

I even resisted on Saturday and batch cooked chili and curry without even tasting them, resisting all the danishes and carrot cake was hard, but I have my goal and my hand whisk. lol

Saturday was lovely, I am so lucky to have met so many wonderful people through scrapbooking and once the setting up is all over I love to have a chat with everyone.

I am now in a tis about finishing a Teacher book that I promised to do, but forgot that school breaks up on Wednesday!!!! somehow I had Friday in my mind, oh well that will be this afternoon's job.

Then I am having a well deserved break and visiting my parents and of course my bestest friend Helen who means so much to me, we are travelling by train, not sure about the journey, but there are no stops and we have seats and a plug socket!! so hopefully that will keep Connor amused.

12 YEARS OLD

2009-03-10T16:09:00.004Z

That is how old my eldest son Declan should of been today, and the only present I can buy him is as usual a display of flowers. Feeling very bitter at the moment, parents should not outlive their children.

Sorry to anyone who has clicked on here, it is just me venting my feelings at the moment, not after any sympathy so please don't think that. Writing stuff down helps me.

Today has been a strange day, Tye has been off work and Connor was off school sick, I went into work, not sure where the best place to be was, but I couldn't sit and stare at the walls, too many memories coming back to haunt me. Don't get me wrong I have some wonderful memories of Declan, he was such a strong character, and make us laugh, but not today, today should of been a day of celebration, presents, birthday cake with candles, having the dreaded friends round or dragging them all off to the cinema, anything but sitting here empty thinking of what should of been and what was cruelly taken away.

Memory is such a funny thing, sometimes I forget things and I often put strange things in the fridge, like a hairbrush or book, I just forget where I am going. 10th March is burned into my memory forever, I can remember every little detail.

It is so strange, just watching the world go by today, I don't actually feel a part of it, nor do I want to be a part of it at the moment. Anniversaries are a good time to let go, usually I hold my self so tight, all the grief is like a little box inside that you keep the lid on and when the lid slips it hurts like hell.

I lost my beloved Casey last November, he was my last link to Declan, he saved my life, literally, I had nothing to live for after losing Declan, or it felt that way, and Casey saved me, was always there.

There aren't many words this year just lots of unbearable pain, things going through my head, life's not fair, it shouldn't be this way etc, but life is like that for lots of people, you don't know what is happening in any one's life.

Today, I bumped into a mother and daughter who I see quite often and say hello to, both are lovely very friendly and sweet, but that is all I know about them, today I found out that the mother had lost one of her daughter's and her son, and of course the daughter a sister and brother you just don't know who else is suffering, what happens behind closed doors in other peoples lives.

One of my pet hates is 'I know how you feel', I would never dream of saying that to anyone, even someone that had been in a similar situation to me, everyone feels differently, everyone reacts differently and no one can know how someone else is feeling.

Happy 12th Birthday sweetheart xx

DIET

2009-03-09T09:56:00.004Z

I know I am not exactly obese, but I am overweight for myself, and I feel uncomfortable in my clothes and unhappy in myself. I have tried to do something about this for a while now, but for some reason I have not had the willpower, which surprises me. Usually when I make up my mind to do something, I do it. I give up chocolate every other year for the WHOLE year and that takes most of my will power. I have been doing this for 10 years and have only failed once which was when we went to America.

So where has the will power gone? I am carrying more weight than I have ever carried and I am not sure whether this is it, but I usually start well on a Monday but by Tuesday afternoon I cheat and have a cake or a chocolate bar and of course once you've had one, what a few more!!! This is the usual analagy I use when opening a packet of biscuits, I eat two or three then worry that the rest of the packet will get lonely and scoff the lot!!!

I LOVE FOOD!!! that is my downfall, my mother bless her always cooked big meals, not that my parents were overweight, nor were my brother and I as kids and of course I am from the generation where you were told you 'couldn't leave the table till you had finished everything on your plate'. Well my plates are huge and I am still finishing everything on my plate!!!!!

I recently watched the Paul Mckenna programme and it was interesting, he was saying that you should chew your food at least 20 times before you swallow it and put your knife and fork down in between bites. All well and good but I can only see this slowing me down because I would have jaw ache long before the plate was empty!!!!!

I love cupcakes, chocolate, Indian curries and Italian, really I don't care I just love my food.

I decided that I needed a regimented diet, something that was made up for me and all I had to do was take it. All this weighing out of the food would be no good, as I know I would cheat on the measurements or a points system would mean that I would eat only the things I liked!!!

So two lovely ladies at one of my all day crops recommended the 'Cambridge' diet!! They have lost a lot of weight on it, so with a deep breathe I looked into this.

Firstly I found a representative in my area, she is a lovely lady and very supportive, she doesn't know what she has taken on with me though, mind you after about 12 cryptic emails I think she might now!!! LOL

Then I had to get my Doctor to sign a form saying that I was medically fit to do the diet, well this one proved a bit more difficult, I am in the process of changing my meds at the moment (that's another story, me being general guinea pig) and take about 16 pills a day. The Doctor was not happy, but I did pull the depression card slightly and she signed the from!!

Well its true!! it is depressing me that I had to buyer a bigger size. I had to sit in the changing room and cry for 5 Min's before taking a deep breath and taking the larger sized trousers to the Till. I felt very sorry for the poor woman behind it as I literally flung the trousers down and didn't say a word, she must of thought I was the most miserable person going.

OK so I found a representative and had the Doctors form signed. I then had to buy my food (when I say food I mean this in the loosest form of the word), the diet starts off with whats called 'sole source'. Which is basically NO FOOD!!! Once she'd picked me up off the floor, she explained that it was liquid packets, either porridge (which makes me gag, so that one was out) shakes and soups. OK I thought shakes and soups, not too bad.

She weighed me and usually I don't weigh myself, I know I've put weight on when it takes me 20 Min's of lying on the bed like a teenager to get the zip up on my jeans, I don't need the numerical proof in front of my eyes. Then even worse I had to pose for the 'before' photo!!

So off home, I went with lots of leaflets, my weigh in card and a box of my 'meals' for the next week. She did mention that you NEED a hand mixer!!! OK I didn't have one but it only took me two days to realize that she wasn't kidding and drive into town to buy one!! OMG the fist milkshake was disgusting, I was trying to whisk it up with a fork and it was full of lumps. The lunchtime soup made me gag, my own fault because I didn't read the instructions about mixing it into a paste first, then pouring in more hot water and it was full of powder granules. I forgot to mention that you also have to drink 2.25 litres of water a day!! I will not be venturing far away from a bathroom anytime soon.

So with a hand whisk the milkshakes and soups taste moderately better, the milkshake still has that protein taste, and soups don't really have a taste, but they are all in little packets, measured out for you, so this is what I had been looking for.

It got easier as the week went on, but then Tye was away so I was only cooking for Connor, the smell of the food in the fridge, made me want to eat everything in it for the first few days, but my will power kicked in (wondered where the hell that had got too). The water proved difficult at first and not having my cup of tea, I did try it black but OMG YUK!!

I went back on the Thursday for my weigh in, holding my breathe, and of course wearing light clothing (not jeans). I gingerly stepped onto her scales - I had lost 4kg (OK I know most people work in stones and pounds, but I always have that thing in the back of my mind that you should be 9 st!!! I don't know where it came from but apparently to my mind it is the perfect weight and as I am just under 5'8" I am never going to achieve that without looking like an emaciated skeleton) so I work in Kilo's then I never know if I am too far away from the 9 st, OK I can't kid myself that at the moment I am miles away, but Kilo's it is. Anyway getting back to the 4kg, that means I have lost 8.8lbs as it is apparently 2.2kg to the lb. YAY

So now the shakes are 'the best thing since sliced bread' (yeah right!!!), but hey ho I am losing the weight and sticking to it.

This weekend was tough, Tye was back and bless him he cooked for himself and Connor, although this did consist of 'phoning for dinner Saturday night, 'Chinese'!!! The smell drove me made but they did go and eat it away from me and cleared up all the remains from the kitchen.

I have sadly marked up all my bottles of water with dates so that I know I have to drink the whole bottle and I do carry it around with me!!! (no analysis on this one please, I know I am mad).
My clothes feel slightly looser and apparently I have lost 1.5" from my waist, so I am going to stick with it. I wont lie and say it is easy, it's not, I am not keen on the taste of either the milk shakes (which do come in a number of different flavours to dilute the protein taste) or the soups which only have a hint of a flavour, but what in this world comes easy and I have only myself to blame for overeating and overindulging in chocolate and cakes....

OMG Where has the Year got too ....

2009-03-04T09:51:00.007Z

I cannot believe it is March already and I was so going to be good this year and blog everyday, which is probably better for anyone who reads this that I haven't been as it would be extremely boring!!!!

This year has been extremely long so far, Tye started his new job, and seems to be away more than he is here. He is really enjoying it though so I am happy for him, he seems to be jet setting all over, from Germany to Cyprus and possibly Afghan soon.

The kittens are growing up and no longer have chubby little round faces, they are getting pointy now, but are still very cute and very mischievous. Shadow has used up another of his lives, he decided to hang himself from Connor's PE bag on the stairs and was only lucky that I had forgotten something and came downstairs to see him choking. He is fine now, he lost his voice for a couple of days due to bruises larynx but has made a perfect recovery and is now very loud.

They have now developed their own little characters, Shadow is very load and purrs if you just look at him, but is quite shy outside and comes running in at the slightest noise.

Odyssey is very outgoing she wants to see everything that is happening and be into everything, she purrs too but only when she comes to you for attention.

Bagheera is beginning to accept them, although he still bats them across the room if they get too close.

Callaway is still sulking, but she will actually eat at the same place as them, so I am hopeful that maybe in a 'year' or two she may take to them.

After three years of beating my head against a brick wall, I think I am finally getting somewhere with Connor's school, mind you it is just in time for him to move up to Secondary School!!!

The business is still doing well, and I am enjoying my weekly crops and of course the monthly marathons.

2009

2009-01-04T10:09:00.007Z

Christmas

Calloway decided that she wanted to open her presents early and was particularly interested in a gorgeous red bell on one of the presents.

Connor's piano lessons have been paying off and he played 'Jingle Bells' to us on Christmas morning.

Father Christmas leaves Connor some presents in his 'Santa Sack' every year and he even leaves it at the bottom of his bed and this year was no exception.

New Year, this is probably the time to reflect on last year, I'm not sure whether I achieved what I set out to but I do feel I achieved something.

I set up my online shop in February and am really pleased with this, and would like to thank all my friends and customers for supporting me in this. My crops are still going strong and it gives me a lovely warm feeling when I get more people coming on the recommendation of others.

We took a family holiday to Disneyworld, something which we have been planning to do for a while and it was definitely an experience of a lifetime and I would recommend it to anyone.

Tye got promoted to Sgt, which was long overdue and so deserved.

My mother and Tye's dad turned 60.

Connor turned 10 into his double figures.

Almost forgot I turned 40!!!!!!!

Tye trained and completed the DW the worlds longest canoe race, completed in one go over a two day period.

Tye got posted to Deep Cut but we kept the quarter here so that Connor could continue with his eduction

We lost our beloved dog Casey who has been with us through so many things and kept me sane, he will always be missed and never forgotten.

Christmas was a more sombre one this year with Casey missing, no family traditional walk or photo as it didn't seem the same with him missing.

We introduced two new members to the family, two tiny 8 week old kittens a white one with odd eyes called Odessey and a black one called Shadow, have caused slight uproar between our existing two Cadbury and Bagheera, but things are calming down.

Of course photos are necessary at this point.

2009

I am not sure what this year will bring, Connor goes up to the big School in September which will be more scary for me than him. He is also off to Sealyham for a week with no contact and off to Scotland for two weeks, I cannot believe how grown up he is becoming.

2009 started with the traditional cooked breakfast and a small kitchen fire!!! I usually tend to set off the fire alarm when I cook, it is a standard joke in our family, cooking is not one of my strong points, but then I do not take much interest in it.

The tin foil that I use under the hobs, apparently caught fire!!! so I am stood watching the flames, with the smoke alarm going off, I did remember to turn off the cooker, still flames, ok electrical, so no water, and of course no cloths around when you want them, so yelled Tye, he does come in handy sometimes, and of course sorted out the flames. No damage was done the cooker dials were a bit black but not melted, good start to the year though lol.

We didn't have a dinner, as we stayed in bed most of the day watching films and generally being lazy.

We did make a few family visits although we do love our own company a lot of the time, we visited Tye's mother in Sturminster, which meant that we could visit Declan, we have been meaning to sort out the grave for a while, the weather hasn't done the stone any favours and we needed to flatten the ground, so Tye and I went up with a shovel and lime scale remover, it is very sad that this is the only thing we can do for our son, but it felt better being able to do something rather than nothing, we wished him Merry Christmas and told him how much we loved him and how he is always with us.

Tye's brother Shaun and his girlfriend Natalie came over and we had a lovely Christmassy dinner, which I think is one of the best things about Christmas/Yuletide, I love roast turkey with all the trimmings and of course being a Northern girl, we have to have gammon and roast lamb to go with it. We played on the Wii Fit or they did and I watched, it is one of the best sources of entertainment I have come across.

December

2008-12-12T12:22:00.002Z

OMG its December already, yes I know its the 12th of December and no I haven't just realized that it is December, just either wish it was still November or that Christmas was over !!!!

No I don't actually wish Christmas over I love Christmas, the spirit of Christmas that is, but I haven't actually seen that much of it this year, people are all very stressed and rude.

Our Christmas isn't going to be the happiest of affairs, we are still suffering from the loss of Casey and one of our Christmas traditions was to walk him and take a family photo before we open our presents, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Connor is 10 now well 10 1/2 on Boxing Day and he still kinda believes which is lovely so we will have a lovely family Christmas. I love closing the door on the world, spending time together, watching the corny films on TV, having a fabulous Christmas dinner and then collapsing on the sofa to play silly games and feel stuffed.

The last week has been really hectic, Tye has started his new job and is getting on really well, and seems to be enjoying it. We had a Squadron function and I met some of the wives and girlfriends, they seem to be ok, but I am very dubious on one of them, manner don't cost anything but they seem to have bypassed her.

The Christmas function was very disappointing, it wasn't the auspicious occasion I was expecting, the entertainment was non-existant, people talked through the comedian and the food, although not the fault of the waitresses as they had to walk about half a mile to the tables was cold. The function itself was held in a marquee which was freezing. I do not really like these types of affairs, as I can no longer dance, and the music is too loud to talk it is usually quite a boring affair for me. I also hate the effects of alcohol on Tye and everyone else. I know I sound a real stick in the mud, but it is just not my sort of evening, a lovely meal and good company would of been a much better way of spending an evening, there were a few redeeming features, three of the wives were very nice, but I do not think I will be attending any more functions.

Tye's father was 60th last Friday and we drove up for a surprise dinner, its always lovely to see everyone, and this was a good evening, lovely food, and good company.

The following week went badly as I managed to knock the steering wheel of the car when I started it and of course that put the steering lock on and I do not have the strength to take this off. I had to walk to work, thankfully only a few metres away and then beg a neighbour to see what they can do, one sharp tug took the lock off, talk about feeling extremely inadequate!!!

I am now as usual racing around like a headless chicken trying to get things sorted out for my marathon all day crop tomorrow.

I spent most of last night wrapping up the potatoes and cooking like mad and still have things to sort today.

But that is the usual state of my days, far too much to do and far too little time to do it in.

Time

2008-11-24T15:34:00.002Z

I am forever blogging about this, or rather lack of it lol

Well, Friday my cat Bagheera was attacked and came in with his stomach hanging off, quick trip to the vets revealed that he had been attacked and I had to take him back for surgery on Saturday.

He is recovering quite well now after being stitched from his groin to his chest and looking very miserable at having to wear a cone collar!!!

2008-11-19T14:16:00.002Z

Is it me or does everyone spent their day dashing from one place to another !!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was one of those days, it was meant to be quiet, normal 9am school start, then work from 9am till 1pm the set up the hall for my club then pick Connor up from school, make some dinner Tye would then take Connor to football practise and I would go and relax and run my club.

Ok Connor wanted to walk with his friends so had to drop him off at friends house as 8.20am. Friends mother asked if I could take one of her sons home after school as she had sports with the other one, not a problem as she is a friend and lovely person and her sons are as good as gold.

So now at work early, and have to find cheap B&B's in London for one of the soldiers, ok task in itself, is there such a thing? Managed to find a few and then couldn't find the military code for the discount off the London Eye, so sent out emails for help and searched.

Went and set up the hall, which took a bit longer than expected, then got home to find that I had had quite a few orders so started packing those up, then had a 'phone call from the vets to say that I could go and collect my Casey's remains, which reduced me to a blubbering mass again.

Managed to pull myself together only to find half the things on the order were still down in the stock room, and it was time to pick up the kids!!! So dragged the kids to the stock room to finish the orders, then home to pack them up, then to the post office and then to the vets!!

I didn't actually know what to say at the vets just told the new receptionist I had come to collect Casey, they obviously couldn't find a dog pick up and asked my name whereupon I received a hushed ohhh and she handed me a carrier bag, ok manged to get back into the car and blub quietly as I had two kids in the back.

Dropped of the first child then got my back and tried to get him into football kit, phone call from Tye saying that he had not yet left work and I would have to take Connor to football and he would pick him up, ok deep breath and try not to get annoyed with husband as it was not his fault!!!!

Came back downstairs to find Connor hugging the box of Casey and crying his eyes out, so massive hugs and talks on how it was for the best whilst trying to pull shin pads onto him.

Managed to get him to football and leave him and get back just in time to finish setting up for the club.

Suddenly remember that I had been a very bad mother and not only forgot an appointment with a new piano teacher, but also forgot to feed said child!!!!!!

Luckily Tye fed them both on pizza on his return!!!!!

Today is going slightly quieter I now just need to find the mess I call a home after yesterday!!!

Casey's box is beautiful, all pine carved and with a plaque with his name engraved on the top, I didn't expect all this, the vet arranged it all for me, but it is beautiful.

2008-11-17T10:44:00.007Z

Things are getting back to everyday life, not to say I am not still bursting into tears, whenever I find a toy or think I see Casey out of the corner of my eye, but I am as usual coping.

I have found over 600 photo's of my boy, I am so pleased that I snapped him at every opportunity, unfortunatley the only ones I have of him and I are the self taken ones I took of him on our last day, as usual I seem to be always behind the camera.

I have found a book and am now sorting papers and embellishments to do justice to my memory book of Casey.

I hate winter, I hate the dark nights the wet and cold and it seems to change everyone's mood, although I love Christmas, mind you this years will be strange but my 10 year old still believes, or kind of believes so we will have a lovely time.

A couple of weeks ago I made what I named a 'mish mash' book and it was the first creative thing I had done for a long time, so I was really pleased with myself.

I did show people and they said they liked it so I have now put it on sale in the shop and it is going really well. The papers in the book are Basic Grey Granola, chipboard shapes and stickers, you gotta just love BG !!!! LOL

I also made 40 Halloween bags for Connor's cub group, which I will put up a photo for later.

I have been busy trying not to order new stock, but there are such scrummy things out there at the moment that it is hard, I do have some gorgeous Teressa Collins papers and BIA covers coming soon, and need to get some more 'pink' BIA's as they just flew out.

I am really into Prima at the moment, their embossed books, and new Lollipop flowers are just scrummy.

Our last all day crop this year is December 13th, and I am looking forward to this one, I have lots of things planned including a Raffle and more challenges, lots of Christmas music, and Christmas hats etc

Of course we have our Christmas Tuesday crop which we do a secret, non scrapping Santa, and Santa sometimes brings the presents!!!!

Oh well the beginning of another week, it is cold wet and miserable and I so wanted to crawl back under my duvet this morning, especially as Connor was playing at being ill, but I had to remind myself that I am a responsible adult and mother, so was very firm and got him to school for 8am.

It is not right that school should start at 8am, but our school in their 'wisdom' decided to move the Gymnastics club to 8am on a Monday!! So we dragged ourselves out of bed!!!