DIET

I know I am not exactly obese, but I am overweight for myself, and I feel uncomfortable in my clothes and unhappy in myself. I have tried to do something about this for a while now, but for some reason I have not had the willpower, which surprises me. Usually when I make up my mind to do something, I do it. I give up chocolate every other year for the WHOLE year and that takes most of my will power. I have been doing this for 10 years and have only failed once which was when we went to America.

So where has the will power gone? I am carrying more weight than I have ever carried and I am not sure whether this is it, but I usually start well on a Monday but by Tuesday afternoon I cheat and have a cake or a chocolate bar and of course once you've had one, what a few more!!! This is the usual analagy I use when opening a packet of biscuits, I eat two or three then worry that the rest of the packet will get lonely and scoff the lot!!!

I LOVE FOOD!!! that is my downfall, my mother bless her always cooked big meals, not that my parents were overweight, nor were my brother and I as kids and of course I am from the generation where you were told you 'couldn't leave the table till you had finished everything on your plate'. Well my plates are huge and I am still finishing everything on my plate!!!!!

I recently watched the Paul Mckenna programme and it was interesting, he was saying that you should chew your food at least 20 times before you swallow it and put your knife and fork down in between bites. All well and good but I can only see this slowing me down because I would have jaw ache long before the plate was empty!!!!!

I love cupcakes, chocolate, Indian curries and Italian, really I don't care I just love my food.

I decided that I needed a regimented diet, something that was made up for me and all I had to do was take it. All this weighing out of the food would be no good, as I know I would cheat on the measurements or a points system would mean that I would eat only the things I liked!!!

So two lovely ladies at one of my all day crops recommended the 'Cambridge' diet!! They have lost a lot of weight on it, so with a deep breathe I looked into this.

Firstly I found a representative in my area, she is a lovely lady and very supportive, she doesn't know what she has taken on with me though, mind you after about 12 cryptic emails I think she might now!!! LOL

Then I had to get my Doctor to sign a form saying that I was medically fit to do the diet, well this one proved a bit more difficult, I am in the process of changing my meds at the moment (that's another story, me being general guinea pig) and take about 16 pills a day. The Doctor was not happy, but I did pull the depression card slightly and she signed the from!!

Well its true!! it is depressing me that I had to buyer a bigger size. I had to sit in the changing room and cry for 5 Min's before taking a deep breath and taking the larger sized trousers to the Till. I felt very sorry for the poor woman behind it as I literally flung the trousers down and didn't say a word, she must of thought I was the most miserable person going.

OK so I found a representative and had the Doctors form signed. I then had to buy my food (when I say food I mean this in the loosest form of the word), the diet starts off with whats called 'sole source'. Which is basically NO FOOD!!! Once she'd picked me up off the floor, she explained that it was liquid packets, either porridge (which makes me gag, so that one was out) shakes and soups. OK I thought shakes and soups, not too bad.

She weighed me and usually I don't weigh myself, I know I've put weight on when it takes me 20 Min's of lying on the bed like a teenager to get the zip up on my jeans, I don't need the numerical proof in front of my eyes. Then even worse I had to pose for the 'before' photo!!

So off home, I went with lots of leaflets, my weigh in card and a box of my 'meals' for the next week. She did mention that you NEED a hand mixer!!! OK I didn't have one but it only took me two days to realize that she wasn't kidding and drive into town to buy one!! OMG the fist milkshake was disgusting, I was trying to whisk it up with a fork and it was full of lumps. The lunchtime soup made me gag, my own fault because I didn't read the instructions about mixing it into a paste first, then pouring in more hot water and it was full of powder granules. I forgot to mention that you also have to drink 2.25 litres of water a day!! I will not be venturing far away from a bathroom anytime soon.

So with a hand whisk the milkshakes and soups taste moderately better, the milkshake still has that protein taste, and soups don't really have a taste, but they are all in little packets, measured out for you, so this is what I had been looking for.

It got easier as the week went on, but then Tye was away so I was only cooking for Connor, the smell of the food in the fridge, made me want to eat everything in it for the first few days, but my will power kicked in (wondered where the hell that had got too). The water proved difficult at first and not having my cup of tea, I did try it black but OMG YUK!!

I went back on the Thursday for my weigh in, holding my breathe, and of course wearing light clothing (not jeans). I gingerly stepped onto her scales - I had lost 4kg (OK I know most people work in stones and pounds, but I always have that thing in the back of my mind that you should be 9 st!!! I don't know where it came from but apparently to my mind it is the perfect weight and as I am just under 5'8" I am never going to achieve that without looking like an emaciated skeleton) so I work in Kilo's then I never know if I am too far away from the 9 st, OK I can't kid myself that at the moment I am miles away, but Kilo's it is. Anyway getting back to the 4kg, that means I have lost 8.8lbs as it is apparently 2.2kg to the lb. YAY

So now the shakes are 'the best thing since sliced bread' (yeah right!!!), but hey ho I am losing the weight and sticking to it.

This weekend was tough, Tye was back and bless him he cooked for himself and Connor, although this did consist of 'phoning for dinner Saturday night, 'Chinese'!!! The smell drove me made but they did go and eat it away from me and cleared up all the remains from the kitchen.

I have sadly marked up all my bottles of water with dates so that I know I have to drink the whole bottle and I do carry it around with me!!! (no analysis on this one please, I know I am mad).
My clothes feel slightly looser and apparently I have lost 1.5" from my waist, so I am going to stick with it. I wont lie and say it is easy, it's not, I am not keen on the taste of either the milk shakes (which do come in a number of different flavours to dilute the protein taste) or the soups which only have a hint of a flavour, but what in this world comes easy and I have only myself to blame for overeating and overindulging in chocolate and cakes....