Well I am now four days on, and still bursting into tears, still avoiding going home from work to an empty house.
I didn't realize how much I depended on him and how much my life revolved around him, after work, I would go home and he would be waiting 'on the sofa' for me. I would take him out and we would have a lovely wonder through the woods, or a quick one if it was raining lol.
I would then get on with my emails and paperwork and he would curl up on my feet under the dining room table or in the workshop.
He was the last person I said goodnight to every night, and I am still saying it. I have given away all his food, but cannot bring myself to wash his bed and blanket yet.
Apparently he goes to the crematorium on Monday and then I will get his ashes back the following Monday, hopefully Tye or Connor will be able to come with me to do this.
Why is it that with all the memories we have we do not remember feeling, I spent that last day with my arms wrapped around him most of the day, and when the vet gave him the injection and when he had gone I just held him in my arms, but cannot I remember the feeling of his warm fur or wet nose, NO, all this is ripped away from us.
My next post will be better, I will of at least pulled myself together, I am sorting out photos, and writing down things he used to do, and that we all did together.
Friday, November 7
Four Days on
Posted by Mj at Friday, November 07, 2008
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5 comments:
Bless you, don't be so hard on yourself, its very early days, you are bound to be still mourning him. He was a member of your family like a person is, At least you are left with some very happy memories & photos of him.
Sending Hugs
Rachel x
Oh, sweetie! You got me all misty eyed with this. {big, warm hug}
Choosing pictures and writing will take you through the process of grieving. Take care.
oh MJ thats so sad - im sorry you are missing him sooo very much ... its a year almost to the day when my boyrfriends dog died from a acident ... it was a tramatic time and i still miss him ... so i know the heartache all too well.
writing and pictures will help .
take care xx
maddy
I was so sorry to read about your dog - bless you for finding time to leave comforting thoughts on my blog about my own dog when you are hurting so much. You have had to cope with a lot of loss and seem so brave. You had me in tears and I hope that the pain lessens for you somewhat. You have some gorgeous layouts on your blog - I'll be back for a proper nose around.
OH hun... I hope that one day soon you will be able to remember him with happiness instead of sadness. I know just how you are feeling but it is a true saying that time heals. You WILL remember the good times and writing about him will help you remember them.
big hugs my friend I am thinking of you.
Chris xxxxx
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